007 Project #19 Licence to Kill

Sloppy.  I think the word describes this movie perfectly and Dalton’s portrayal of James Bond as a whole.  There isn’t anything glaringly wrong with LtK, but there isn’t anything exceptional about it either.  The greatest departure from the classic Bond formula thus far, Licence to Kill pits Bond against his own government, and several other nations, as a rogue agent bent upon revenge.  I think that is where the film goes wrong and sadly that is where the film starts.

When Felix is nearly murdered by a crazed drug lord, Bond takes the law into his own hands and seeks to make him pay.  This is not Bond.  I can see where the character might be pushed to the edge, but I cannot see him going over it as strongly and guns-ablazing as he does here, particularly when it turns out Felix has not been killed.

The remainder of the film is Bond, out of his mind and out of character, relentlessly pursuing the drug lord irrespective of whom he has to hurt or how many international laws he has to break.  While it might be fun to put Bond on the run as a rogue agent, the character is too smart to take that tact to the extent that Licence to Kill does.   

It also doesn’t make much sense.  There is a bigger story at work in this movie, and Bond has several opportunities to hitch his vendetta wagon to it, but he is so blinded by his fury that he not only fails to take those opportunities, but he actively works against other characters in the film who want to help him.  This is a man whose wife was brutally murdered Corleone-style on his wedding day.  A man who waited 5 movies to get his revenge upon her killer.  Am I supposed to believe that this same man now flies off the handle at the apparent and then near death of his friend?  I have no doubt there is a body of fan fiction that will support a much closer relationship between Bond and Felix than I am aware of, but with what I’m given in the history of this character, this does not wash.

And while I have a pretty big qualm with the premise the film, the remainder does little to salvage it.  Bond is sloppy and the plot goes all over the place with him.  The story seems to have trouble focusing and wanders all over the place.  Characters are introduced and dropped, others shift importance and function, until finally the whole thing pulls together at the end like a high school play.  I could do three pages on the unnecessary and bizarre Wayne Newton cult sub-plot, but at this point I think my point is clear enough to avoid the redundancy.

While The Living Daylights was able to carry Dalton and make up for some of his deficiencies, Licence to Kill is too scattered to give him much help this time around.  Dalton’s Bond is sloppy.  From his hair and general appearance, to his goofy smiles and strangely awkward demeanor, he is in no way the suave or clever character crafted by his predecessors.  I don’t know that it is entirely his fault, but he just comes across as a generic 80’s action hero.  Very little in this film or the previous one is distinctly Bond.  The good news, like Lazenby, Dalton’s tenure is short and will likely be forgotten.

Pam Bouvier may be the consummate 80’s Bond girl.  She is thin, pale, fiercely independent, and sports a pixie cut that works.  She looks too young to be CIA and yet has enough spunk to pull it off when the story lets her.  Carey Lowell does a solid job in the role and at times is more engaging than an often wooden Dalton.

On the flip side, Franz Sanchez is one of the worst Bond villains to date.  He’s not even a good 80’s crime movie villain.  This guy is supposed to run one of the most brilliant and brutal drug syndicates in the world.  He is meant to be feared and respected.  And yet he is captured by Felix and Bond almost by accident whilst trying to reclaim his girlfriend from a rival paramour.  Sloppy.  He is also easily manipulated by Bond, who infiltrates Sanchez’s organization without any more effort than showing up at the front door.  This guy is no mastermind and Roger Moore or Sean Connery’s Bond would have made short work of him like a second class henchman.  The best I can say is that this villain lives at the level of the film he inhabits.

Licence to Kill is a low point in the franchise and I can see why it kicks off the longest dry spell in the timeline of the series.  The entire film is sloppy and never recovers from its poorly executed premise.

I kept hoping the iguana would shoot lasers or poison or something.  Anything

Aimee here:

This is really just a bad 80s action movie. "Bad" is relative, since we've obviously seen a lot worse, but this movie veers away rather quickly from the formulae that make Bond... well, Bond.

The story, as Stan so meticulously points out, makes little sense. I like seeing some slight character development. Having Bond care about and work to avenge his friend Felix (who is NOT killed, it turns out) is nice, and it could serve as an anchor to an off-kilter vengeance-seeking Bond. However, it does not. Bond doesn't go this crazy when his own wife is murdered--why would he take it so hard when Felix's wife is? I suppose it could be salt in an old wound, but still, Felix doesn't even take it this hard. He's all smiles by the end of the film.

I wasn't really enamored of Pam Bouvier. I found her role in the film to be boring and predictable--but after so many earlier films, all finding ways to shoe-horn a desirable young woman into an international espionage plot, I suppose that's both understandable and unfortunate.

The main villain is goofy and ridiculously stupid. He trades all his credit and reputation in the underworld because he is insanely jealous. How did he even get this far? The tele-church plot with Wayne Newton was laughable at best and poorly elaborated upon at worst; the whole thing leaves me feeling as though I have wasted my time. Bond works best when he's a real company man--in all our movie viewings, "Bond goes rogue" has been a weak plot across the board.

At the end of it all, I'm not sorry to see Dalton go--he had the look but was ultimately forgettable. The "darker" portrayal he meant to bring to the table simply doesn't work; possibly as a function of bad plots and meandering action sequences.  

007 Movie Project: #22 Moonraker

Moonraker

Once we get to the space shuttle launching pavilion, you have lost me.  Half of this movie is a pretty solid Bond spy movie, the other half is a poorly thought out sci-fi movie that seems to want piggyback on the success of real sci-fi movies like Star Wars and Star Trek.  Simply put, James Bond does not go to space.  He prevents evil masterminds from launching devious plans that take place in space, but he does not go to space.  He also does not have absurd laser battles in space. 

I’m going to just plain ignore the ridiculous speed gondola chase and the incessant fascination with Roger Moore and boats, because they are almost forgivable when you consider where the second half of the film goes.  I am content to say that the first half of the film is fine as it is, cable car battle and all.  What I take umbrage with is the fish out of water space plot that comprises the remainder of the film.  Aimee says it best when she says that this movie tops itself so much that you forget pretty much anything that happens before you go to space once you get to space.  This is in part because all of the stuff that happens in space is just too much.

Maybe if we went to space and just had an espionage plot on a space station things would be ok, but oh no, we have to have an army battle in space with jet packs and lasers.  We have to explode a space station and drive space shuttles around like they are cars.  It is too much.  The world of James Bond is meant to closely mirror our own.  It is roughly grounded in our reality.  So when this movie attempts stunts like the space battle and the shuttle duck hunt, things that are no where close to what is realistic, it goes way too far, particularly when you consider that those other successful sci-fi movies named above do not stretch the plausibility of what is possible in space as far as this movie does.  It’s just too much.  Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer an earth-based Bond who ferrets out spies and double-agents and prevents evil masterminds from hatching their horrible schemes (which is what we have for 50% of the movie).

Too bad too, because the opening parachuting stunts were absolutely spectacular.  Who knew they were only the tip of the iceberg for how absurd this movie was going to get.

Roger Moore is solid as Bond again, but his performance is greatly upstaged by all of the space brik-a-brak.  The result is a Bond who is a little flat and given little to do, particularly once we achieve orbit.  The earth-based stuff is much better and in line with the charm and wit of Bond’s normal MO.  Moore is not terrible, but he doesn’t shine like he does in The Spy Who Loved Me and Live and Let Die.

Despite her name, Holly Goodhead proves to be a capable and strong Bond girl who plays Bond’s rival as much as she plays his love interest.  Her connection to the CIA and other twists keep her character interesting and the fact that she manages to keep her clothes on for the majority of the film is quite impressive.  It is also refreshing to see the theme of strong Bond girl overpowering the trend of the airhead Bond girl in the movies leading up to this one.

Drax is one of the most impressive Bond villains in the series not only because he has successfully constructed a space shuttle launching pavilion and a space station years ahead of any of that in the real world, but he is one of the few Bond villains to have his act so together that he nearly succeeds with his devastating plan.  Drax himself is pure evil and while not quite as cunning as previous villains he does prove persistent in his attempts to have Bond eliminated.  You must give him points for tenacity.  But again, the real villain worth talking about in this film is Jaws!  Kiel is back and better than ever.  He is such a likeable villain that his return is inevitable and greatly desirable.  And fortunately, the character is done justice in this reprise.  Jaws, once again, is the relentless foe that cannot be killed and pursues Bond at all costs.  At all costs that is, until he falls in love.  I realize this seems absurd, but in this film it works and doesn’t feel nearly as dumb as a giant space army battle with laser guns.  As a matter of fact, Jaws is so likeable that you are actually cheering for him once he finds love in the form of a diminutive, yet buxom blonde.  You get to cheer again when Jaws renounces his evil ways and ends up teaming up with Bond and Goodhead in the climactic battle.  A Bond/Jaws team-up might seem like the ultimate insult, but it works.  Somehow, it works.  Plus, for the first time, we get a Bond villain who also gets to sail off into the sunset with his gal.  Good for you Jaws!

Overall, Moonraker is half decent Bond movie, half bad sci-fi.  Unfortunately, the second half is so unbelievably bad that it cannot prop up the useable, and occasionally quite good, material from the first half, and a Jaws/Bond team up cannot bring the outrageous ending back from the brink.

Aimee says:

I want it noted that Moonraker is only on the low side because it's not a very good Bond film. It's really more of an Austin Powers plot, only played rigidly without much levity. No, that's not very fair--I think it's actually not a bad movie altogether. It's a typical late-1970s sci-fi, and if you just take it like that it's pretty fun.

But, of course, it is a Bond movie, and as such, I must rank it lower. I think the Bond girl here is great--we get a lot of bumbling moron types in these movies, so I'm always happy to see someone who is confident and competent as well as sexy.

The first half of this movie is very promising, but it goes off the rails when we find out just how insane (and complex) is the scope of Drax's plans. What starts as a fairly typical "Bond needs to find a missing space shuttle" plot quickly comes to a bizarre space drama about breeding a super-race or something. I don't really know what the end game was, but it culminates in an epic space battle.

Yeah... Bond, you've overstepped. You get in fights and you sneak around. You make clever reversals, and you out-smart the super-villain. You do not spend extended periods of time in a space shuttle fighting with lasers.

In short, I didn't hate this movie but I definitely didn't feel it was a true "Bond" adventure, especially after the halfway mark. For that reason, it's near the bottom. Not the absolute worst, just a "jump-the-shark" type entry to the series.

007 Movie Project: Die Another Day

This summer we are blowing your mind by counting up all of the Eon Productions James Bond films!  We'll rank all 23 official Bond films and tell you which are the very best and which are less than spectacular.  We'll also pick our favorite Bond, Bond girl and Bond villain.  So strap in and join us as we stroll through the Bond library!  We'd love to hear what your favorites are along the way!

We'll get the absolute worst of the bunch out of the way directly

Die Another Day

Too much.  Die Another Day is a Bond movie killed by excess.  Excess of spectacle, excess of useless characters, excess plot, this movie just has too much of everything we don’t need.  The plot is nonsensical, and not in a workable way, but in a “why are we doing this” way.  The scripting is stilted and scenes between Bond and both of his love interests end up being extremely awkward and stiff, never smooth and suave.  And while both of those have been problematic for the series historically, DAD (sorry dads out there) suffers from a third strike in the form of absolutely over-the-topness.  Absolutely.  Case in point, near the end of Act II, Bond engages his nemesis (which is a feint, as his true nemesis is set up to be, though never realized as, the person who betrayed him in North Korea) in a fencing duel that quickly escalates into a full blown sword fight.  That alone is pretty interesting and smacks of the glass museum fight from the Moore era. But rather than enjoy the moment and its novelty, the fight goes on far too long, becomes far too involved, ends up outside and all over the grounds of the private club causing volumes of damage, and ultimately resolves unsatisfactorily with the intervention of the character who fills the role described above.  It’s too much.

All of this is symptomatic of the cinematography and style of filmmaking which also lets the film down again failing to knit together a coherent story.  And when the story starts to lag, the movie fills the gaps with trendy filmmaking gimmicks like slow motion, fast motion, and quasi-Matrix level computer generated camera angles.  The film is so busy being told in a fashionable way that it doesn’t get told very well at all. (see Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance)

The opening sequence and the bit with Q (man, oh, man I miss Desmond Llewellyn), played here successfully by John Cleese, are about the only parts of this movie worth seeing.

Brosnan continues to please as Bond, but is given so little to do that you almost forget this is a Bond movie.  He is consistently upstaged by the sidekick he is saddled with, but we’ll get to her in a minute.  It is unfortunate that his era will end on such a low note, but Brosnan certainly has left his mark on the role and to his credit, never had a bad performance as the character.

Bond Girl Miranda Frost: Fetching but wasted in a confusing plot.

Now, I mentioned a sidekick.  Halle Berry is set up as our Bond girl for this film, but she also feels as out of place as Terri Hatcher or Denise Richards felt in the two previous Brosnan era movies.  Honestly, her character comes across more as a second rate Michelle Yeoh from Tomorrow Never Dies than anything else.  Her character is an agent along the lines of Yeoh or Pam Bouvier from Licence to Kill, but lacks the conviction or the impact of either of those characters.  Berry’s performance is less than spectacular and it is unsurprising that the desperate attempt to spin her character Jinx off crashed and burned before it ever left the hanger.  On the flip side, the underused Miranda Frost character provides a bit more meat for a Bond girl, but is also given little to do and is often lost in the shuffle.  This is wasted potential, particularly since she should be the primary villain.  For my money, Rosamund Pike is also far more fetching than Halle Berry here.

Toby Stevens (Gustav Graves) and Rick Yune (Zao) share the role of top villain playing dual foes for Bond.  Gustav is the primary villain and mad planner, but his plot is beyond megalomaniacal and borders on the insane, along the lines Dr. No or Moonraker (which this film is a veritable remake of).  The scenes where he matches wits with Bond are exceptional, the rest is a bit off.  Zao, on the other hand, is a great top level henchman, and is sadly not given as much to do as might have been helpful to the film.  I still don’t know why they never take the diamonds out of his face?

Overall, Die Another Day is a definite low point for the franchise.  Excessive everything, ridiculous plotting and terrible stylistic filmmaking drown competent actors and potentially interesting story elements to create a mess that guaranteed that this would be the last film of the Brosnan era.  They tried so hard to pack this film with homages to the franchise due to the release falling on an anniversary year, but it comes across, instead as a James Bond garage sale where everything is overpriced and no one has a clue what they are selling.  This was an easy pick for the bottom of the barrel.


Aimee here:

Wow, that Marvel Project seems like it was over fast. What are we reviewing again? Bond films? Ok. This is something I thought I was already comfortable with doing, but after watching them all again (some for the first time!) I realized that some long-held biases were completely unfounded, and some assumptions I made were totally false. I came to know what a "true" Bond film really was, and which films lived up to that weighty standard. Too over-the-top? Too much action? Not enough levity? Severe dearth of sharks? Over the coming weeks we'll see many examples of the finest tropes in 007dom, and many, many examples of James lurching across the big screen like a cinematic Frankenstein, cobbled from bits of unused scripting from his previous films.

Unfortunately, there is no worse film in this regard than Die Another Day.

Die Another Day started off rough for me, and while I was of movie-going age when it came out, I refused to see it--despite a deep love of the Pierce Brosnan Bond. I must say, my opinion of it did not change much having finally sat down with it. The Madonna title song (and her subsequent unnecessary cameo!) are pretty dismal, as Bond anthems go. It's certainly no Goldfinger.

Hello, Madonna, you're looking strange as always.

This film's plot makes no sense. I had Stan explain it to me half-way through because I honestly wasn't at all following it. Like my husband, I have no idea why a henchman/villain wouldn't remove diamonds from his face. You can get all the plastic surgery you want, but I'm pretty sure like Interpol or the CIA would be only too happy to ID you based on the diamonds lodged in your face without a fuss. Seriously. How many people are there out there who have 1) the opportunity to have at least a dozen diamonds lodged in their face and 2) the opulence necessary to say "nah, no need to remove these!" Maybe it's different in the universe that this film takes place in (as it clearly wasn't ours) but I think that just having that kind of injury would make you subject to a lot of unwanted attention during daily tasks like walking outside or talking to people.

So it's a diamond-smuggling plot about a North Korean kind-of-defector I think who becomes a German man in about 4 months. Assuming Bond is captured and immediately put in prison, he's only gone for a few months before getting out, in which time the North Korean that he (supposedly) killed has built up an enormous infrastructure for his nefarious plots, turned Frost to his side (or was there ever a question?), had enormous amounts of surgery/DNA therapy to become German-looking but also British, remove all trace of previous accents, and put together a mega-plan that will allow you to rule the world and get revenge on your father. In four months.

In the middle of this, we have Halle Berry wearing the Ursula Andress bikini for no other reason than to wear it and we have the signature vehicle for no other reason than to see it and we have a lot of miserable homage that goes way, way over the top and is just painful, really, and bad. Halle's character is just worthless here. A terribly forgettable Bond girl and a performance that is really very flat are the only standouts for one of the most-heralded castings in the history of the franchise.

Look, she's astonishing in this bikini, make no mistake, but there's no reason for her to wear it. None.

We have Q branch providing a really over the top cloak for the vehicle which, honestly, makes little sense for the application of this film. I won't judge too harshly as Q is the only good thing in this film...although no one could take the place of Desmond Llewellyn, who had recently died. The scene with Q is good, though, and one can definitely appreciate all the previously-featured gadgets that make cameos here. But for the much-hyped 40th anniversary, I must say that they should have stopped there with the homage.

The film suffers greatly at the hands of absolutely dated film-making techniques, that I am personally glad have managed to stay in the early-2000s.

This was the only Bond film on the entire list that I had trouble sitting through. To say that I didn't enjoy it would be an understatement. I detest the virtual reality Moneypenny/Bond "love scene". Really, everything in the movie was like that--unnecessary, over-the-top, and painful to endure. It's quite plain they wanted this to be a loving homage, but they fail all over the place. There's a basic lack of respect and understanding for the films that came before--even the ones that featured Brosnan.

Die Another Day is terrible. Next!