Sunday, April 29, 2012

Marvel Movie Project #17 Fantastic Four 2

This is the movie where the Silver Surfer comes to Earth for no reason, wastes all of our time, and then kills Galactus and leaves.  That's it.  I kid you not.  Look, you know by now I like to take the comic book source material and tell you where the movie went horribly wrong.  This won't take long.  The Silver Surfer CANNOT kill Galactus.  At least not out right.  The Surfer's power is literally a fraction of the World Eater's power cosmic.  It is that fact that creates the conflict of the Surfer's story.  He leads Galactus to Earth so the big guy can eat it, but then learns that Earth is full of people who are much like the home planet he left behind to save.  He must then enlist the help of the FF to save Earth and rebel against his master.

Does anything in this movie even remotely look like that?  No.  What we get is more of the same recycled crap from the first movie, even Doom comes back for absolutely NO reason, with some more interesting Special Effects.  Alba is still unbelievable as Sue, and she is a total bitch.  Reed is still a weak, mealy mouthed nerd who is marrying Sue because I think he is scared of her.  Ben is less pathetic this time around and Alicia is a welcome and likable female character in a movie with far too few.  Johnny, again, steals the show and creates the films only enjoyable moments.

The film is plagued by more forced family squabbles, but this time it is set against the tired device of having the four swap powers due to yet another freak accident, which only confuses an already overly complicated and needless plot.

The Special Effect, er Silver Surfer, looks really good and has the makings of being an interesting character, but he is given absolutely nothing to do, except show up, get captured and misunderstood and then released to go KILL GALACTUS, which he cannot do.  He is as cardboard as they come and it is too bad.

Perhaps the biggest flaw in this film is the lack of an actual villain.  Like I said before, Doom returns to menace everyone and do something, but what that might be is never clear.  Steal the surfer's power, steal Galactus's power, who can really tell.  His agenda is no more clear in this film than it was in the original.  Galactus is even less of a villain, and I get that he is cosmic-sized so he's hard to put into perspective, but he could at least be a credible threat.

I remember liking this movie a lot more when it came out, but I think, like the original, I was just excited to see the FF on the screen.  Johnny and Ben have some nice moments and overall, the story is somehow better than the original movie, but this is not a good movie.  It is far too confused and aimless and the performances are far too shallow to make this anything better than a moderately painless waste of a Saturday afternoon.  The movie is watchable, but only watchable.

 Aimee's Take:

This is more Fantastic Four in every sense. Sue is bitchy, Reed is boring, Johnny is perfect if overblown, and Thing is moody. They fight even more, you're left to wonder WHY Reed would ever marry someone who so clearly hates him. The Silver Surfer shows up and saves Sue for no reason. Doom appears for no reason. And then, the Silver Surfer kills Galactus. That's right. It's not unwatchable--I actually liked it in the theater, but unfortunately I was not able to locate whatever drugs I was smoking at that time for the repeat viewing. It is definitely better than FF and the rest of the schlock we've covered so far. But once again, it's entirely on the back of Johnny Storm played by Chris Evans. There's no way I could sit through another one of these things without stabbing Jessica Alba in the face with a pencil. I should point out that I actually love Ioan Gruffudd--although primarily for his work in the A&E Horatio Hornblower series that has nothing to do with trying to pair him up with a poorly-styled faux-blonde super bitch.

Honestly, there's not much to say. We're treading near interesting territory, because the next few movies actually have something incredibly likable if not loveable about it. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is neither bad nor good. It has likable moments but nothing to make the experience very worthwhile.

For this reason, I have elected to fill the rest of my "take" space with pictures of my dog. Enjoy!

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