Girl on Girl Games: Style Savvy

Once upon a time, your humble contributor (me) was just a little girl. Actually, I was this girl:

Adorable, yes?

But, as time went on, and my mom stopped doing my hair and picking my clothes, I turned into this girl:

I'm the one on the left.

And now I'm reviewing a fashion game.

All jests aside, I really do enjoy fashion. I read InStyle on airplanes just like anyone else; I have whiled away many a rainy Saturday watching marathons of What Not To Wear. When the occasion arises, I have no problem putting together an outfit that doesn't make me look like a mental patient. Now, I don't have a ton of money to blow on clothing, so I don't get a lot of practice at looking fantastic.

Luckily for me, there's Style Savvy.

 The game is simple. You are a young fashionista on the go, and you've taken a sales job at one of the hottest boutiques in town. You work your way up to the top, get your own store, and the rest is history. Well, actually, the rest is just serving customers, managing inventory, and competing in fashion contests.

You start in your apartment, your launchpad to fashion stardom. You apparently get to keep all the vendor samples (and you apparently fit into vendor samples ...ahem...) and so you are able to make outfits for yourself out of anything you've bought for your store. You can do your make up, also. And, like all apartments, it is from here that you can adjust your identity and volume level.

A very metro-girl apartment. I feel like I'm in Ikea...

 In case you're wondering, here's me:

Faaantastic.
(keep reading, fools!)

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a GBA: March

Spyro: Season of Ice
by Universal Interactive

STEAL ALERT!  3 months in and we already have our first steal alert!  Spyro: Season of Ice for the GBA is a definite steal at a measly five dollars!  The game is lots of fun, pretty deep, and challenging enough to keep you coming back for more!



I don't really know that much about Spyro.  Up to this point my exposure to the little purple dragon had been a demo CD for the PSX oh so many years ago.  I was familiar with the game's cutesy main character and its roaming 3D platformer set-up, but I had never really invested any time into the games.  That said, as an introductory game, Spyro: Season of Ice is an exceptional ambassador for the franchise!

The storyline centers around our hero as he tries to free fairies who have been frozen in ice by some evil dudes that are some kind of rhinoceroses (not rhinoceri as I would have thought and preferred).  It is your job as Spyro to hunt down all 100 fairies and save them before the big bad guy, who has mistakenly given himself two heads through some nefarious mischief of his own, brutally slaughters the fairies and uses their wings to fix his self-inflicted condition (no indication how that works exactly...).  The game doesn't say "brutally slaughters," but I mean come on, it's a two-headed rhino-monster, those fairies aren't going to go quietly...

In any event, Spyro must travel to four different fairy kingdoms and free the frozen fairies either by simply finding them or by completing other tasks that will help subvert the evil rhino plot.  The good news is, you'll not have to go it alone.  Apparently, and this is where my ignorance of all things Spyro kicks in, Spyro has a dragonfly companion who goes along with him in his adventures and seemingly takes the brunt of the damage for him. (to wit, the fly represents your hit points).  In addition to being Spyro's simulacrum, the dragonfly also gets to have adventures of his own.  In each area there is a special dragonfly level that is more akin to a top-down shooter than a platformer.  These additional levels can be pretty tough and add a nice break from the platforming action.

Light all of the Jack o' Lanterns in the Autumn World and you'll free a fairy!

The majority of the game, however, is pretty standard platforming.  In each level Spyro must navigate the playfield, defeating foes and avoiding perilous pitfalls.  There are obvious fairies to find, as well as "go get this" missions from NPC's populating the levels, and other similar "mini-quests" that will ultimately reveal the captive pixies.  Level to level the basic quests change only superficially, but that doesn't discount the fun and challenge each level presents.  To give you a break from the platforming, in addition to the aforementioned dragonfly levels, each area also features a flying obstacle course that you can tackle.  These courses present the game's greatest challenge and are the only things I have not completed as of this writing.  You can free two fairies by running the course through on both the normal and hard settings.  Normal is hard enough, and hard is just stupid.  That said, it is nice to be able to take a break from a particularly frustrating level and do something else for a minute.

My one gripe with the game is the controls.  There are some levels that want precision jumping that is not really facilitated by the control set up.  Spyro's default moves are based on the standard cardinal directions, but he can also work diagonally. The problem comes when a jump needs to be aligned in just such a way, but making the diagonal work on the D-pad isn't as smooth or consistent as it needs to be.  The result is Spyro heading off in the wrong direction and ultimately dropping off the playfield.  This can make some levels more frustrating than they need to be.  Other than that, there is little to quibble about with this game, unless you just don't like whimsical platformers.

From Mermaid beaches to Time Travel Laboratories, Spyro: Season of Ice is a light-hearted, action platformer with a lot to offer, especially for only a modest Lincoln.  This game earns its Steal Alert status and is well worth half its original MSRP on the second hand market.  If you enjoy platforming games and don't mind a bit of whimsy, then don't pass up Spyro: Season of Ice!

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: September

September

HULK                                                                                        By Universal Interactive

My wife and I have recently been reading Peter David’s truly masterful run on the Incredible Hulk comic book that spanned nearly all of the 1990’s.  David’s writing is inspired and his treatment of the character shows a true appreciation for Stan Lee’s original creation.  Because of this, we both had a renewed interest in all things Hulk.  Thus, whilst scanning the racks at MUST HAVE MUSIC and MORE for this month’s game, the HULK game naturally stood out to us as a potential candidate.  The only drawback was that the game was based, and spawned, from the subpar 2003 Hulk movie, and there was an equal chance that the game would suck just as much as the movie did.  Examining the game case and manual provided some hope: the game did not follow the movie plot, but was more of a sequel!  Even so, there was no promise of a good game, but with our brains enswirled (yep, I just made that up) in Hulkitude (also mine), we decided to just go for it and see what shook out.

The game itself isn’t terrible, just repetitive.  You alternately take turns controlling the Hulk or his alter ego Bruce Banner.  The Hulk levels are pretty straightforward smash ‘em ups, with the occasional mild puzzle (and I mean mild) to solve.  Most of the time as the Hulk you fight off endless waves of bad guys while trying to pursue someone or escape the onslaught of gamma dogs and machine gun fire.  In addition to pulping bad guys, you can also wreck up the place something good because the environments are almost entirely interactive.  A nice feature, but much like punching guys with guns, it can get old fast.  The Banner levels attempt to be more inventive requiring you to use stealth to evade your enemies in direct contrast to the Hulk’s less subtle approach.  As a matter of fact, confrontation as Banner will almost always result in Game Over.  As Banner you must sneak your way around military installations while trying to achieve an objective like synthesizing a cure for your condition or deactivating security controls.  Parts of the Banner levels are kind of like the stuff you do in Red Ninja, only with less finesse and fun.  Also imbedded in the Banner levels are several sequence puzzles that you must unscramble in order to proceed.  These sequence puzzles are generally presented as security codes you must override.  The puzzles are simple, but each one has a time limit that usually means you’ll occasionally need some good old fashioned luck to solve it in time.

In both areas of the game the level design is fairly uninspired.  There are neat parts here and there that give the game potential, but all in all the game is ho-hum.  The Hulk levels are fairly mindless smash ‘em ups, which has the potential to be a lot of fun and very much in the spirit of the character, but the enemies are boring and repetitive as are the Hulk’s limited cache of attacks.  “Oh great, another soldier with an energy shield, first I’ll throw a crate at him, then I’ll pick him up and slam him into the wall.”  Repeat a hundred times…  The high points are all of the various walls and doors you get to smash through as you progress through the levels. The Banner levels provide a little more cerebral stimulation, but the execution is clunky and thus some areas become frustration fests where you begin to question whether or not it is really worth your time to try to sneak past those search lights again and again.  The basic game has a shot at being really fun and the idea of playing as both Banner and the Hulk fully captures the essence of the character, but the game feels churned out instead of crafted and the result is a little dull.

What is not dull is the graphics; I only wish I meant that in a good way.  Everything in this game is shiny.  And I mean everything.  From the Hulk’s skin to General Ryker’s suit, every single surface in this game is shined up to the max.  The cut scenes are the worst.  Everyone looks like they are made of jello in the sunlight.  I think they were going for a cell-shading effect, but the result is a glossy nightmare.  The in-game graphics are better and a have more depth and texture, but overall the game looks over polished.  And if the glare doesn’t blind you, the voice acting might just push you over the edge.  Much like the acting in the film it is based on, the voice acting in this game is extremely heavy handed.  Banner is just as maudlin and gruff as Eric Bana’s film portrayal.  I’m still not sure why he isn’t the Hulk all of the time, as angry and frustrated as he seems…  The rest of the characters are two dimensional and forgettable and I think we are all better for it.

At the end of the day, I will say that the HULK game is far better than the movie it is based on.  Maybe it is because my expectations were less, but unlike the movie I was able to lose myself in the Hulk parts of the game and just enjoy smashing stuff.  I wish the game had inspired me more and was better able to hold my interest, but that may have been asking more than the game was able to give.  At its heart the game has very good intentions, it just cannot seem to fully deliver on any of them.    That being said, I don’t think my five dollars were wasted this month as I was able to eek out at least five dollars worth of entertainment from smashing tanks and tossing oil drums at helicopters.  HULK has the makings of a great Hulk game, but it just wants to be a little more than it is. 

Next month, we enter the home stretch of the “12601” project with only three games and months left!  There are still plenty of…um…interesting games on the shelf, which ones will make their way into my home?  See you next time…

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: July

Twelve Months, Sixty Dollars, and one Playstation2…

Prologue
Okay, so my favorite local second hand, MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, has a slew of Playstation 2 games and recently I discovered that a great number of them are being sold for the low, low price of $4.95.  For those of you who have been following along at home, this is how I came across Pryzm , Chapter One: The Last Unicorn, that little gem that I alone made famous last year!  As I was browsing through the stacks the other day I saw a good number of these $5 games that looked at the very least interesting, if not potential diamonds in the rough.  After thinking it over I came to a conclusion:  The PS2 has a vast library and very few catch the attention of the popular culture, but lots and lots of games get released. Somewhere in those stacks of discarded, unloved games must be some really great games just looking for someone to play them and at the risk of five dollars a go, I think it’s worth finding just what is out there.  The result is this on-going experiment, a journey that you and I are going to take through the unwanted library of the PS2.  So strap in, kiddies, we’ve got twelve months, sixty dollars, and a Playstation2 and we’re about to discover what we’ve been missing!
 


July

Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano                                                              
Valcom

In the modern era, there are two kinds of racing games:  simple, fun games for everyone (kart racers and the like) and complex, hardcore racing games that are only for those who are totally into racing.  Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano is the latter.  I am better suited to the former.  Complex, hardcore racing games demand at least a rudimentary knowledge of how racing cars work, things like gear shifting.  They require finesse, and understanding of car handling, and other car-knowin’ stuff  that I ain’t got.  I knew within 5 minutes of “playing” Alfa Romeo that this game was not for me.  I made just such a comment to my wife and the conversation went something like this:

                                               
Me: This game sucks!
Her: No, it doesn’t, you just aren’t any good at it.
Me: No, this game sucks, it’s too hard to steer, you have no control going around corners, the car sucks.
Her: It might help if you used the brakes.
Me: It’s a racing game, you don’t use brakes, you go forward, fast and you win.  No one ever won a race using the brakes.
Her: You might also consider down-shifting.
Me: Down-what?  What the hell is down shifting?  You just hold down the accelerate button and let off just when you go around curves.  There’s no shifting.
Her: Yes, there is.  In games like this you have to drive like it’s a real car.
Me: Nuts to that.  This game sucks and I’m going to go write my review and tell everybody that this game sucks.
Her: Maybe you’re not qualified to write this review…


And it pretty much was downhill from there.  I’ve not played much Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano since that conversation.  My wife continued to play for another half hour or so, but her car kept exploding just as much as mine did.  She still defends it, and I guess she is right, to a point.
Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano is probably an alright game if you are big into Gran Turismo or racing games of that ilk.  The game seems to have some depth, from what I read in the instruction manual. Both you and your car gain experience points for doing well in races and you can use those points to improve your driver stats and your car’s components. There are different challenges to take on and cars to win, plus you have this bizarro "Tiger" power that enables you to roll back time about five seconds during a race in case you need to correct a fatal error or salvage a cheap win by an opponent. Had it been more user friendly, I might have been able to get into this game, but as it stands, I pretty much gave a five dollar bill to a crackhead and said “have at it.” (not sure how much crack $5 buys these days, but all the same).  There is a "quick play" mode that is more fun, where your car doesn't explode after a few collisions, but that is not enough to prop up a game billed as a "racing RPG."

If anyone wants a barely re-used copy of Alfa Romeo Racing Italiano, leave me a comment and I’ll send it off to you for the low price of $5 and you can try it for yourself.  I’ll even cover the shipping.  I promise this will never make it back into my PS2.

Girl on Girl Games: Barbie

Girl on Girl Games: Barbie for NES

Barbie in full early 90's regalia

It would be pretty easy to dismiss as a standard girl game but for one thing:  this game is not terribly easy. Barbie is only a girl game because it is themed in accordance with the Barbie doll franchise. Underneath the veil of pink emblems, charm bracelets and shopping malls, it's really just a standard platform-er, with all the usual trappings.

Barbie takes us on a trip through Barbie's dreams, most of which center on her plans for the next day. While she's not exactly planning to turn the world upside down with her daily errands, they seem like pretty reasonable errands for a teen-age doll in Southern California. She needs to go to the mall and buy a new outfit, go swimming, have lunch at the soda shop, and then meet Ken at a party. Barbie recounts all this to us as she nods off to sleep reading a book about mermaids.

She may be a vapid blond doll, but at least she's reading a book. Enjoying it, even!

As previously stated, the game works as a standard platform-type. You play as Barbie (who is very obviously a pixelated doll) in the game. Her sprite is very tall and thin, and is always depicted in different outfits appropriate to the venue. For example, in the first level, she's wearing a plain athletic top and pants, but after the first mall level, she picks up a new ensemble (the one from the title screen). During the soda shop level, she wears a poodle skirt and sweater. And so on. Complaints about this should probably be directed to the doll line rather than the game about the doll line--after all, Barbie is a fashion doll. Why wouldn't she have lots of clothes in a game?

More after the jump!

A Closer Look at Muscle March for WiiWare

A Closer Look at Muscle March for WiiWare

Some video games are all about strategy, be they puzzle games, turn based battle games, or what have you.  Some video games are about precision asking you to make the exact right moves at the exact right time or else.  Then there are games that all about action, full-on in your face, guns blazing, fire pits roaring action.  And then there are games about muscles.  You heard me.  Muscles.

Yeah, you heard me.  Wait until you see this...

So my friend Chris comes over to the house one night last month and amidst our various goings on about how hard it is to find Atari 2600 games in the wild anymore and which NES games are worth $5, the boy says to me “Have you seen that Muscle game for the WiiWare yet?”  Obviously I had not.  So we pull up the trailer for said game on the interweb and oh my dear lord.  One cannot describe what bombards the senses next, so I’ll not try.  Instead, I’ll allow you to judge for yourself.  Here, take a watch:




What the hell was that?  That my friends is the greatest game for the WiiWare yet.  Yes, delete Mega Man 10 and that new Blaster Master game and make room for Muscle March.  The game is insane.  Pure Japanese insanity in all of its glory.  If you thought Katamari Damacy was a head trip you ain’t seen nothing yet. Imagine Katamari, but with nothing held back.  Nothing.  I think that trailer is proof enough.

The premise, if you dare say the game has one, is centered around a group of extremely zealous body builders who are incensed because people keep stealing their protein powder.  The protein nabbing invariably results in a madcap chase wherein the body builders pursue the perpetrator through cities, jungle villages, space stations and even the heavens themselves!  The protein thief will stop at nothing to escape and this means crashing through anything standing in their way, walls, doors, subway cars, forests, asteroids, you name it.  If the body builders are to nab the protein bandit, they must follow suit, literally.  Each time the perp smashes through something they do so in a very specific pose.  The body builders must mimic this pose or be knocked out of the chase.  That’s it.  Run fast enough and pose correctly and you’ll eventually have an opportunity to tackle the vandal and retrieve your precious protein…or will you….

Honestly, the game is ridiculously simple.  Too simple to be as damn challenging as it is.  When you break it down, the game is essentially Simon Says with poses instead of colors.  There are only four poses to play with and all you have to do is copy the fleeing criminal’s pose as it goes through the wall.  It is just that easy, and yet, it’s not.

The game is dizzying.  From the stereotypical J-Pop music to the absurd environments the game does not allow you to concentrate for a single second.  The backgrounds are just plain crazy.  Nevermind the fact that your chase will have you defying gravity, running through all kinds of buildings, subway cars, jungles, mines, space ships, and so on, as you bust through these surroundings there are innumerable distractions screaming for your attention all over the place.  Most of these distractions are in the inexplicable form of cardboard cut-outs of people and animals that are hopping and gyrating about as if they were on popsicle sticks and being puppeteered by hyperglycemic eight-year olds.  Just don’t pay them any attention. In the immortal words of Happy Gilmore when the “earthquake” rocks the miniature golf course, “how the hell am I supposed to do that?”  It will take a strong mind, but it can be done.

And it isn’t just the backgrounds that will have your mind reeling.  The action gets to be intense.  The chase starts out brisk, but manageable.  As you get closer and closer to the protein bandit, the speed of the chase ramps considerably.  Considerably.  The farther you get in the game, the faster you are going to have to react and match poses or be eliminated.  There are times when instinct and luck will benefit you more than reflexes.  That said, the game gets tough, fast.  And if you get too good at the main game, you can always try your luck at the endless chase game variation where you just run as fast and as long as you can.  Of course, that also makes very good practice for the main game.

That is all there really is to it, but let’s call a spade a spade, you’re not going to buy this game (for a paltry 500 Wii Points) for its complexities and depth.  If you’re looking for Final Fantasy XIII, it ain’t here. No, you’re going to buy Muscle March for the head trip, plain and simple.  This is a zany game all about the laughs and absurdity and the “what the frok was that” factor.  The game play is nothing special, but the game is. Muscle March is funny AND fun.

We’ve been playing the game for some time now and I cannot seem to rescue the protein from the Muscle Mech character to save my life.  And yet I keep trying.  Look, I’m not a big downloadable content guy, I think you know that.  I enjoy the Mega Man games and the Virtual Console has finally allowed me to play Castlevania: Rondo of Blood, but all in all, I’m not over the moon about downloadable games the way most people are.  I would not tell you to make Muscle March your next video game purchase if I wasn’t absolutely certain that it would blow your mind.  I’ll not waste your time with more of my nonsense this month, just go play Muscle March and try to reconcile its madness with your rational, sequential brain.

I’ll see you back here next month when I’ll tell you how we got where we are today and why we are worse for it…

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: June

Prologue
Okay, so my favorite local second hand, MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, has a slew of Playstation 2 games and recently I discovered that a great number of them are being sold for the low, low price of $4.95.  For those of you who have been following along at home, this is how I came across Pryzm , Chapter One: The Last Unicorn, that little gem that I alone made famous last year!  As I was browsing through the stacks the other day I saw a good number of these $5 games that looked at the very least interesting, if not potential diamonds in the rough.  After thinking it over I came to a conclusion:  The PS2 has a vast library and very few catch the attention of the popular culture, but lots and lots of games get released. Somewhere in those stacks of discarded, unloved games must be some really great games just looking for someone to play them and at the risk of five dollars a go, I think it’s worth finding just what is out there.  The result is this on-going experiment, a journey that you and I are going to take through the unwanted library of the PS2.  So strap in, kiddies, we’ve got twelve months, sixty dollars, and a Playstation2 and we’re about to discover what we’ve been missing!

June

Gladius
Lucas Arts

This game just kind of showed up on the shelves at MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE over the course of the past couple of months and I considered it for May, but my guy there said it was pretty involved and I knew I would be traveling so I decided to wait.  It turned out to be a good decision.  For you see my friends, what we have here is a steal.  An honest to goodness, steal.  Gladius is worth every penny of its original MSRP, and I know in 2004 someone bought it from Blockbuster for $20 I have the receipt (to the right), heh.  So the fact that this bad boy can be obtained for a mere Lincoln is truly a crime against high quality video games everywhere.  Especially when another local second hand is asking $19.99 for the Wheel of Fortune for the PS2.  What the hell?

Well, while Gladius is no Wheel of Fortune, what it turns out to be is one incredibly deep and fun turn-based strategy game.  Closer to what the original Dungeons and Dragons role playing game was founded upon (wait, WAIT, come back, I realize that I just made reference to the three most socially awkward words in the English language, but I promise I’m going somewhere good with this, just hang out a second), Gladius makes use of real role-playing elements like customization and character building and blends it with a well crafted, turn-based battle system.  The result is a strategy game that requires intelligence and cunning and ends up being a great deal of fun. (see, if I had left out those three difficult words, you’d be thinking about how great this game is and not worried about telling your friends you actually like this game, stick around I promise the game is sweet)

Gladius is a game all about combat, most of which is meted out in various arenas scattered throughout the land.  You command a “school” of fighters who travel throughout the region contesting in these arenas to improve their prowess and win fame and glory for their kingdom.  When the game begins you may chose to fight for the Kingdom of Imperia (think Romans) or the Kingdom of the Barbarians (think Barbarians or “Fringe Peoples” if you are caught up in post modern political correctness).  Whichever you select, you will start with two warriors from that kingdom from which to build your school; ultimately you will be able to support twenty warriors!  The remainder of the game is all about battling it out in the various contests across the land, constantly improving your characters abilities and equipment and recruiting more and better warriors to your school.  There appears to be some manner of plot that is centered around an evil being and the Kingdom you chose to represent, but honestly, that seems more like the trappings of what is expected from adventure games like this and less like an integral part of the game experience.  Oh sure, there is a world map to explore, “random” encounters to engage in , and side quests to help you increase your might, but make no mistake, this game is all about the battling.

Gladius is also all about the time commitment.  Don’t expect to pop this game in for a quick ten to fifteen minute play.  It’s not going to happen.  This game wants most of your Saturday afternoon and all of Tuesday night.  It took me about an hour and half to work through the tutorial levels and really get my school off the ground.  From there, however, the entire world opens up and you are literally free to explore the land and construct your adventure however you want.  The game play is engaging enough to make you want to invest whole chunks of time into it, so don’t worry about the game becoming more like a job.

If you are like me and these kinds of games tend to suck you in (I spent  72 hours straight playing Might and Magic VI back in 1998 when it first came out, but I had a girlfriend at the time and she played it with me, believe it or not), then taking home Gladius for $5 is like finding that rare Oreo that has the double stuffing in the regular pack.  But even if you cannot find it for the steal I did, you should still have this game in your PS2 collection.  I doubt you’ll have trouble finding it for more than $15, and you are going to get every penny’s worth of fun from it, and more!


(final note: I must tell you that this game also sucked my wife in and she has spent more time than I have playing it!  Say that about Dungeons and Dragons! Ha!)

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: May

Prologue
Okay, so my favorite local second hand, MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, has a slew of Playstation 2 games and recently I discovered that a great number of them are being sold for the low, low price of $4.95.  For those of you who have been following along at home, this is how I came across Pryzm , Chapter One: The Last Unicorn, that little gem that I alone made famous last year!  As I was browsing through the stacks the other day I saw a good number of these $5 games that looked at the very least interesting, if not potential diamonds in the rough.  After thinking it over I came to a conclusion:  The PS2 has a vast library and very few catch the attention of the popular culture, but lots and lots of games get released. Somewhere in those stacks of discarded, unloved games must be some really great games just looking for someone to play them and at the risk of five dollars a go, I think it’s worth finding just what is out there.  The result is this on-going experiment, a journey that you and I are going to take through the unwanted library of the PS2.  So strap in, kiddies, we’ve got twelve months, sixty dollars, and a Playstation2 and we’re about to discover what we’ve been missing!

May
 
One Piece: Pirate’s Carnival  
Bandai Namco

Why are these games always so poorly executed?  Why?  I mean, Mario Party is an amazing game and a consistently fun franchise, but no one else seems to be able to get the formula right.  Long time fans of my Closer Look article will fondly remember my treatise on Sonic Shuffle for the Dreamcast.  Well, One Piece: Pirate’s Carnival is no Sonic Shuffle, but it’s no Mario Party either.

Before we get too far into all of this, allow me to mention that I have virtually NO knowledge of anime whatsoever.  If you have been reading this from the get-go then you know that I am roughly familiar with Robotech and I have seen Akira and maybe two episodes of Dragonball Z (in which Goku ran across clouds for nearly thirty minutes), but that is about it. So when I picked this game up, I had no idea that it was based on yet another widely successful anime program.  Furthermore, if I am to understand the game’s interpretation of the show, it’s some kind of Gilligan’s Island gone wrong with tentacled pirates and giant, flesh-eating rabbits and something called Jugons.  But I don’t think knowing the content of the program really helps untangle what is going on in this game.

Much like Mario Party, One Piece: Pirates Carnival (OPPC) is a board game that is constructed of a barrage of mini-games, events and other party-game bric-a-brac.  Characters vie for control of a gridded game board by taking control of certain squares on the board.  Taking control is achieved by battling the other players in various contests and succeeding.  Success will not only net you the square up for grabs, but it will also net you other squares in classic Othello fashion.  At least that part is simple.  Playing the main game makes sense and seems doable.  However, to play the main game you must constantly engage in the mini-games.  To be fair many of the mini-games are quite playable and fun, however the ones that are not are nearly incomprehensible.  It seems that the most playable games are the ones that are rooted in games I already know: Concentration, Seek & Find, and others.  One of the better games asks you to take a periscope and hunt through a crowd for someone called “Panda Man.”  Good luck, turns out “Panda Man” is a bare-chested man with heart tattoos on his pecs and a panda mask.  Another game I enjoyed was Kung-Fu Jugon Battle, in which the object is to “have the fewest jugons at the end of the match.”  Hilarious jargon aside, basically you just have to push (fight) all of these strangle little walruses into your opponents part of the playfield while they do the same to you.  These parts of the game are very fun and engaging.  Heck, even the snowy mountain climb where you have to show your respect to bears by bowing is interesting once you figure out what the point is.  (Fail to show proper respect and you’ll get a lecture from the bear, I promise.)

It’s the games that are very hard to understand and thus play that create speed bumps in the enjoyment of the overall game.  Some games have baffling objectives, like the one where you have to catch food the opponent characters throw excepting that they rarely do and while you wait everything else in the world is also happening.  Other games are simple, but nearly impossible to execute: a certain stilt battle game comes to mind.  This means that some mini-games will be competitive and others will be incomprehensible messes and you’re ultimate success will be given partly to chance.  I am sure that most of the games can be tackled with enough experience, but games like this need to be instantly accessible to pretty much everyone and not require dense study to master.  That is the nature of the party game, particularly if they are going to be played by casual gamers.
The other major stumbling block for OPPC is the story.  For whatever reason all of these party games feel the need to clutter up what is otherwise a board game with some manner of asinine story.  It’s a board game.  The story is: TAKE TURNS, TRY TO WIN THE GAME. THE END.  That is all you need.  I promise.  But no, OPPC makes a half-assed attempt at giving the characters things to say and do before and after every single game event.  Every single game event.  And they aren’t quick little quips, they are oft lengthy diatribes about being “merman” or cooking or something else irrelevant to anything at all.  Compound that with absolutely ridiculous load times for each diatribe and you end up with a game that takes nearly two hours, half of which is “story.”

All in all, I paid $5 for One Piece: Pirate’s Carnival and just playing the game once pretty much means I got my money’s worth.  I don’t think I’ll be playing it regularly and if a party breaks out in my living room I’m pretty sure this won’t be what causes it. If you are a big One Piece fan, then you will probably have fun checking this out just by virtue of you know what is going on and who these characters are.  If you are not a One Piece fan, just go get Mario Party 50 or whatever and be done with it.

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: April

Prologue
Okay, so my favorite local second hand, MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, has a slew of Playstation 2 games and recently I discovered that a great number of them are being sold for the low, low price of $4.95.  For those of you who have been following along at home, this is how I came across Pryzm , Chapter One: The Last Unicorn, that little gem that I alone made famous last year!  As I was browsing through the stacks the other day I saw a good number of these $5 games that looked at the very least interesting, if not potential diamonds in the rough.  After thinking it over I came to a conclusion:  The PS2 has a vast library and very few catch the attention of the popular culture, but lots and lots of games get released. Somewhere in those stacks of discarded, unloved games must be some really great games just looking for someone to play them and at the risk of five dollars a go, I think it’s worth finding just what is out there.  The result is this on-going experiment, a journey that you and I are going to take through the unwanted library of the PS2.  So strap in, kiddies, we’ve got twelve months, sixty dollars, and a Playstation2 and we’re about to discover what we’ve been missing!

April

Mobile Light Force 2  


Ok.   Do me a favor.  Take a look at the cover art for this game.

Now, tell me what kind of game this is going to be and just wager a guess as to what some of the themes the story might be rooted in.  If you said, “Stan, this is going to be an action game, perhaps top down perspective ala X-men Legends and I think it might be based on a team of Charlie’s Angels types taking down a hostile robot force,” not only would you be completely wrong, but I would laugh at you.  For you see, I made the same mistake.  And honestly, how could we not.  Nothing about this game’s packaging even remotely hints at the game inside.  So with that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Mobile Light Force 2 (which suggests there was a Mobile Light Force 1 at some point)

Now perhaps you were the crafty sort and instead answered the above question, “Stan, this is going to be a vertical scrolling shooter with anime themes and fast-paced action,” you would have been dead-on.  That’s right, MLF2 is a vertical scrolling shooter in which you take the role of one of six generic (and yet strangely specific) Japanese anime characters hell bent on blasting their way to the solution of a mysterious serial murder case.  But don’t worry too much about the resolution of the story, MLF2 is all about shooting.  Non-stop shooting.
Mobile Light Force 2 is traditional vertical scrolling shooter that allows you to select from six different characters with unique abilities that fly over various landscapes blasting away at numerous kinds of enemies.  There isn’t really too much new to see in this game.  The graphics are decent, but nowhere near what the PS2 is capable of.  Not that amazing graphics are required for a game like this, but at the very least the game could utilize the entirety of the screen, instead of the middle third.  The level of challenge is also fairly low, and most decent players will make it to the third or even final level in their first attempt.  This is partly due to the hefty allotment of continues you are given and partly due to the simple level design.  The only real challenge comes from some unique and bizarre bosses and the choice of character you play with.  The bosses range from a giant butterfly with a baby’s face to a Bahamut-like dragon to some kind of dude that taunts you by making old Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids jokes (I am not even remotely kidding you.  First time I heard this I nearly pissed myself).  Some of these bosses are standard and go down with plenty of shooting, but others require more careful tactics.  For instance, one of the bosses from level 3 surrounds you in a barrier of energy then flies around the screen launching various attacks while you remain trapped within the barrier.  As the fight progresses, the shape of the barrier changes and you have to adjust your attack strategy accordingly.  Character selection also adds a dimension of difficulty to the game.  Some characters attack with curved shots or have secondary attacks that send fireballs across the entire screen.  Each character has its own strengths and weaknesses and it is fun to play through with each to see how far you can get.  But overall the game isn’t terribly hard.

I must say, Mobile Light Force 2 took me completely by surprise in a lot of ways.  From its lackluster packaging, (see the “special features” on the back of the case to the right) I expected a really cheaply made futuristic dungeon crawler with meager features and extremely rough game play.  Instead I got a moderately fun, if incredibly short, fast-paced shooter.  I‘ll say that I probably got my five dollars worth, but not a penny more.  If you are a fan of shooters and just want a new one to play, I can see going in five on this, otherwise, I think your life will be complete without it.  Personally, I don’t think it is a bad addition to my collection, but had I paid full price (whatever that might have been) I would be sorely disappointed.  If you see Mobile Light Force 2, and you just really need to spend $5, you could do a lot worse, of course you could do a lot better.  Either way, I certainly didn’t get what I expected with this one…

UPDATE:  Apparently, there IS a Mobile Light Force 1 (just called Mobile Light Force, ‘natch!) for the PSX. The kicker?  It has the exact same cover art for the CD case!  What. The. Hell.

12 Months, Sixty Dollars and a PS2: March

Prologue
Okay, so my favorite local second hand, MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, has a slew of Playstation 2 games and recently I discovered that a great number of them are being sold for the low, low price of $4.95.  For those of you who have been following along at home, this is how I came across Pryzm , Chapter One: The Last Unicorn, that little gem that I alone made famous last year!  As I was browsing through the stacks the other day I saw a good number of these $5 games that looked at the very least interesting, if not potential diamonds in the rough.  After thinking it over I came to a conclusion:  The PS2 has a vast library and very few catch the attention of the popular culture, but lots and lots of games get released. Somewhere in those stacks of discarded, unloved games must be some really great games just looking for someone to play them and at the risk of five dollars a go, I think it’s worth finding just what is out there.  The result is this on-going experiment, a journey that you and I are going to take through the unwanted library of the PS2.  So strap in, kiddies, we’ve got twelve months, sixty dollars, and a Playstation2 and we’re about to discover what we’ve been missing!

March

Red Ninja: End of Honor
Vivendi Universal


Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going to tell you right away that we have a winner!  Red Ninja is great and soon I’ll tell you why, but first an admission: this game was not priced at $5.  But fear not, our sacred bond remains unbroken, despite the sub-title of this month’s game, I retain my honor.  You see, I was browsing the stacks at MUST HAVE MUSIC AND MORE, and I commented on this game as I inspected its jacket art (and the buxom young Japanese lady spilling out all over it), “too bad this isn’t $5,” I remarked and put the game back on the shelf.  After about ten minutes of hemming and hawing, really more hawing than anything not big on the hemming, I selected Corvette: 50th Anniversary and headed to the counter.  “Looks like this month it’s going to be Corvette,” I said to my guy behind the counter.  “I can’t let you do that,” says he.  “That game is miserable.  Don’t do it.  What was that game you put back that wasn’t five dollars?”  “Red Ninja, it was $6.95.” “I’ll let you have it for five, you do a lot of business here, I don’t mind giving you a break if it saves you from Corvette.”  And so you see, my friends, because of the good nature of my guy at the second hand, I was able to bring you the following review of a game that can be found for $5, even if you have to work a deal every now and then.  I’ll probably still go get that Corvette game at some point; you people don’t get off that easy…
But before you think this column is some kind of “Day in the Life of Stan” soap opera, let’s talk about killing people with stealth and lots and lots of blood!  
As I said before, Red Ninja is a sure winner and I have no idea why this game isn’t a heralded classic alongside its contemporaries like God of War.  If you are not familiar with this title, imagine Lara Croft as a petite, badass Japanese girl who can, and will, kill with a whisper.  Yeah, I know.  Red Ninja is a platforming game that requires an inordinate amount of stealth and cunning as well as problem solving and fighting prowess.  As a matter of fact, if you conduct yourself properly you won’t do much fighting at all.  This game is all about using your vast ninja skills to infiltrate the deadly Black Lizard Clan and seek out those who left you for dead.  During the course of your missions, you’ll encounter deadly assassins, savage betrayals and a mystery that runs as deep as the blood you’re going to spill.

The game play is phenomenal.  Levels are complex and require a variety of tasks to reach completion.  There are small puzzles to solve, enemies to evade or dispatch, and tricky jumps and maneuvers that all work together to create an interesting and engaging game.  Each level is capped off by a boss fight that is generally a blend of ninja strategy and carefully executing fighting.  The boss fight at the end of level two is an amazing blend of cunning tactics and straightforward blood-letting.   To succeed in your mission, you will have to execute a series of serious ninja moves.  From ripping bad guys in half with your line, to dangling upside down from trees to slit the throat of unsuspecting passers-by, to running up the side of buildings, and even using your feminine wiles to seduce horn-dog guards, you will run the gamut of very cool ninja skills during your quest.
Graphically, Red Ninja is gorgeous.  Lush backgrounds and highly interactive environments frame this epic adventure.  The cast of characters are nicely rendered with fine detail and minimal polygonal dithering.  Not to reveal my supreme dorkiness, but this game is about an extremely hot Japanese girl in very little clothing.  You do the math. But be warned, there is a lot of blood.  The game is aptly named, not just for the kimono that Kuranei, your character, wears, but for the copious amounts of blood that is spilled in combat.  Sometimes this game makes Mortal Kombat look like a Disney title
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If Red Ninja has one flaw, it lies in the inconsistent camera angles.  Most of the time the camera is fine and when it is not, you can readjust, but occasionally the camera will get stuck in a bad position and there isn’t much you can do about.  Couple that with the fact that, depending on where you are standing, you sometimes have an incredibly limited view of your surroundings, even if it would seem logical that you should be capable of a better view, and frustration can quickly mount.  Another minor quibble comes from the difficulty of executing some of the more advanced ninja skills.  In level 3 you gain the ability to tie enemies up with the Fundo.  Part of this ability enables you to string bad guys up and literally hang them noose-style or by their feet for a good throat slashing.  Sounds like fun, huh?  Well, despite hours of practice I have been unable to successfully execute this maneuver (pun unavoidable).  I have no doubt it can be done, but some of the moves are not as intuitive as they could be.

Despite those minor criticisms, I have to say that Red Ninja is easily one of the coolest PS2 games I have played and certainly one of the best action-platformers I have played for a modern system.  Being a big fan of Tomb Raider, this game certainly strikes a chord with me, but I think there is something here for anyone who likes this genre.  The gruesome nature of this game may give it an adult rating, but the game play is straight up fun and the graphic nature is incidental not gratuitous, well, not entirely…
Anyway, if you can find a copy of Red Ninja, I highly advise you add it to your collection!  Next month, I have my eyes on a game that cannot be very good, but who knows what I’ll find when I wander into the shop…

A Closer Look at Uncanny X-men for the NES

A Closer Look at Uncanny X-men for the NES

Yes, so here we are again, in a place I never expected to be, much less twice.  Coming to the defense of an LJN game isn’t easy, but once again my eyes have been opened to a game that at first blush appears to be a steaming pile, but upon closer inspection turns out not to suck as much as I thought.  Heck, with the game in question, I’d even be so bold as to now admit that I like the game a lot.  The previous sentences are ones I would have never expected to write about X-men for the NES, but here we are.It all started over on NintendoAge, a fellow website devoted to all things Nintendo, where we are discussing “impossible” to beat NES games and I threw out X-men as a candidate. My previous experience with the game indicated that it was pretty much unplayable. Another poster replied that not only was X-men beatable, but there were people out there who could do it in short order and that once you learned the intricacies of the game, it was actually quite playable.  Certain that I had missed something, and being a big Marvel Comics fan who was sorely disappointed by this title back in the 80’s, I set out to find if this poster was indeed correct.

Step One:  Read the freaking Instruction Manual.  This should be a disclaimer for all video games made before the PSX.  It should be second nature to old schoolers like me, but I’ve been spoiled by the in-game tutorial that is a staple of modern games.  That doesn’t dismiss the fact that I obviously played this as a kid without reading the manual, but it was probably a rental and those never had a manuals, so leave me alone!  Anyway, read the damn manual if you want a shot at playing this game and understanding what is going on.

Step Two:  Play cautiously, learn the game.  The biggest mistake I made was thinking that this game was a standard dungeon crawler like Gauntlet and ran in guns a-blazing.  That will not work with X-men.  You have to play carefully, at least until you are familiar with the game play and level design.  Take your time.
If you follow those two steps you just might be able to salvage your opinion of this game.  And if you are really crazy, like me, you just might find you actually like it, a lot.  What the hell.

So how do you go from completely dismissing a game to playing it for hours on end?  Sheer will power.  If someone else had possessed the wherewithal to actually beat this game, then there must be something to it.  I’ve never let a game best me and I wasn’t about to let X-men be the first! So I started playing and kept playing and playing.  Here is what I discovered.  In all honesty, X-men feels like a sloppily made dungeon crawler that was pretty much already programmed when someone from LJN got a hold of the X-men license and started shopping around what they could do for an X-men themed game.  Somebody pulled out this program and said they could change the sprites to look like the heroes from the comic and minutes later this game appeared on toy store shelves across America.  I kid you not.  The game is only loosely based on the comic books, despite the aforementioned, very well themed Instruction Manual.

The Unstoppable Shooting Juggernaut!

Take the bosses for example: Sabretooth, White Queen, Juggernaut and Boomerang.  Boomerang?  Since when is he an X-men villain?  Dude fights the Hulk and Spider-man and maybe like Daredevil.  He has no beef with mutants that I am aware of.  Why is he in here instead of Blob or Pyro?  Also, Juggernaut, the character known for being “unstoppable” has decided to forgo his usual MO of ramming people into pulp in favor of shooting some kind of electric beams at you.  And while we’re at it, the White Queen acts more like Mystique since she takes your form and attacks you as you.  Heck the sprite even looks like Mystique!  Oh and Sabretooth jumps a lot.  Now you tell me this game was designed with a working knowledge of the X-men and their rogues’ gallery…

Anyway, if we look past the half-heartedly applied theming, what we are left with is an average or below average dungeon crawler that is tricky to learn, but once it has been learned, it proves to be simple and even fun.   For an added kick, once you learn the game, you can reapply the theming and ignore some obvious mistakes and enjoy the game at its fullest.  By no means am I suggesting that X-men is a classic, but it may not suck as much as you or I originally thought.  The key is to be patient and learn its ins and outs.  The remainder of this article is designed as a guide to getting some enjoyment out of this game and to redeem what is otherwise a dismal, comic-based video game.  Having finally beaten X-men, I can say with some authority that X-men for the NES isn’t as bad as its reputation, but isn’t as good as it should have been.

But enough defending LJN games, next month I’ll take a Closer Look at something that we have unknowingly allowed to happen over the past 30 years, and we are worse for it…


TIPS AND TRICKS

Ranged vs. Melee Heroes.  Your team is split into two types of characters: ranged and melee.  My first instinct was that ranged was the way to go, but I soon discovered the advantage of the melee type.  Ranged characters are great because they can attack from a distance and hit multiple enemies at once.  Where they come up short is defense.  A few good hits means curtains for them and if an enemy spawns under them, it’s goodnight Gracie (George Burns, look it up).  Melee characters have to get up close and personal to take down bad guys, but they have more HP and defense to make up for this fact.  I prefer the melee guys for this very reason.  If you are going to use ranged heroes, pick up every, and I mean every, Energy and Invincibility power-up you see.  This is a good strategy in general (see below), but for ranged characters this is not optional.  Iceman can have full health one minute and be seconds from death the next.  Do not risk it.

Colossus is the best character in the game.  Why?  Durability.  He has the most HP and he packs the biggest punch.  I believe you can beat the game with him alone if you have to.  Sure he’s slow, but so what?  That really only comes into play in the Robot Factory and even then you can work around his speed.
Storm and Nightcrawler are useless.  Useless.  Both have the resilience of a paper hat in the rain.  They will die instantly upon contact with an enemy and their attack power is not sufficient to make up for their lack of fortitude.  These two are expendable.  Do not use either as your main character unless you just really want a challenge.
Wolverine, Cyclops and Iceman are all good middle of the road characters.  Wolverine is a lot like Colossus, but with a little less durability.  He can go a long way, but sometimes needs some help.  Cyclops and Iceman are the best ranged attackers, but they can’t take too many hits, so use carefully.  Other than the fact that Iceman can fly (?) they are virtually identical.

MINI-WALKTHROUGH

My strategy is to start with Colossus and Storm in the Underground Sewers level.  Storm will fold like a chair at the civic center pretty much as soon as the level starts, so get that out of the way.  Colossus is best to fight Sabretooth since Toothy tends to jump a lot and Colossus can just stand there and wail on him.  Plus Sabretooth tends to work in an “L” shaped pattern so he will just keep running into Colossus’ fists.  Next I take Cyclops and Nightcrawler to the Future City Street Fight.  Once again, Nightcrawler lasts about as long as a bag of cookies at my overweight aunt’s house, so he’ll be out quick.  Cyclops is pretty fast and has powerful optic blasts so he can mow through bad guys pretty easily.  Iceman is equally reliable, and if Cyclops goes down, Bobby is my back-up.  Next I take Cyclops (or Iceman) to the Robot Factory along with Wolverine; sorry Logan you’re not going to make it.  Again, Cyclops is great against Juggernaut because he can wail on him from a distance (see below about Bosses that Shoot).  Finally, I take Cyclops and Iceman, one of them must die sadly, to the Living Alien Ship and run amok in there.  The White Queen is an easy kill.  Then I load everybody back up into the station wagon and head for Magneto’s house, where we all get soundly trounced and I get to try it all over again… (see below about Getting to Magneto)  You may find it strange that despite my previous adoration for Colossus, I only used him once in this mini-walkthrough.  That is because he is my go-to.  If everyone else gets slaughtered in a mission for some reason, I know with reasonable certainty that I can put Colossus in there and get us through the mission.  Thus, I never put him on the front line unless I have to (like in the Sewers).

Laser gates are instant death.  I don’t care if Colossus has full health; he cannot make it through a laser gate without dying should the gate close on him.  Oh sure, you might make it once, but I promise you the odds are against you.  What’s worse, there is no real rhyme or reason to when they open or close.  It appears to be totally at random.  The only way I have found to get through these gates is to kill baddies until one drops an invincibility power-up.  Grab the power-up and run like hell through the gate.  It may take a minute for one to drop, but I promise the alternative is 99% certain death.


Power-ups:  There are two power-ups you should ALWAYS pick up: Invincibility and Energy.  Dying in this game is easy, very easy.  Stupid very easy.  To stave off the grave, pick up these two power-ups every, and I mean every, time they appear.  The Invincibility is great for obvious reasons and the Energy will refill your entire HP every time.  Picking these up every time is a no-brainer. Avoid the Magnet Mines like they were the plague.  If you are playing with a weaker character, these are instant death anyway, and they can be just as fatal for good characters.  The Time Stop and All Kill are good, but I wouldn’t risk anything going for them.  Use as you see fit.

Defeating Bosses that Shoot:  For some reason Boomerang is a boss in this game and he throws boomerangs at you (shoots).  Also the Juggernaut shoots at you, despite that being contrary to his very nature.  When dealing with bosses that shoot, for any reason, your best bet is to avoid being on the same level (line) as they are.  When you share a level (line) with them, their shots can hit you, otherwise they cannot.  Position yourself just below their level or just to the side if working vertically, and then wail on them with melee attacks or blast them with range attacks.  If they move to your level, adjust and repeat.  They will continuously try to walk to your level so if you are careful and time it right, you can often bounce them back and forth into your attack until they are vanquished.

Look before you leap.  Until you know the levels inside and out, walk carefully.  The levels are littered with poisonous floors, traps, spike pits and other pitfalls that look nothing like those kinds of things.  If you are walking and you hear the noise that indicates you are taking damage, check where you are, chances are good you are standing on a trap or other floor hazard.  Get off of there quick.  Weaker characters will be pretty much instantly killed by these, so mark them well and avoid.

Violence is NOT the answer.  Most of the time, the bad guys in this game are not really out to get you as much as they are just meandering about.  Thus, for several of the levels, you can clear entire areas with little to no violence at all.  Just run past everything.  Why is this a good idea?  Killing an enemy causes it to respawn and sometimes that happens right under where you are standing resulting in a quick death if you are not careful.  If killing them causes this, why do it?  Plus if you don’t stop to kill everything that shows up, you cannot get surrounded and blitzed from all sides. Play around and see which levels/areas you can clear with a minimum of conflict.  It may save you in the long run!

A note about escaping the Robot Factory.  On your way out of the boss room, you are going to pass through an area where the walls close off part of the room.  RUN.  Fast.  If you get stuck between these walls all you can do is sit and wait for the bomb to go off and kill you.  It is in your best interest to learn this room and its three closing walls well.  At the start, grab an Invincibility power-up if you can and then make a run for it.  If you get closed off before passing the first wall, you can always go back out the teleporter pad and come back in and the wall will be open again.  I have actually gotten stuck in the wall before as it closed on me, however I was able to wiggle free by repeatedly pressing the A and B button and pausing and unpausing the game.  Not sure if this will work every time, but it got me out once.  Also, occasionally picking up the Time Stop power-up will give you a speed boost, not sure what governs when and if this happens.  You can also use this to increase your speed and escape the closing walls. If you are playing as Colossus, this strategy is a must.
 
FINDING MAGNETO
Ok are you sitting down?  Are you ready for this?  There is absolutely nothing in the game that tells you how to access the final level against Magneto.  There is nothing in the instruction manual that tells you how to access the final level against Magneto.  The only thing that even hints at how to do this is printed in extremely small print at toward the bottom of the label on the game cartridge itself.  Not only that, but the hint that they give you on that label is WRONG.  You heard me.  If you beat all four regular levels, the game appears to be over, as you can only access the PRACTICE level.  However, once you have completed the four main levels, on the stage select screen, you press UP + B+ SELECT + START and it will take you to the character select screen where you pick the two heroes you want to take on Magneto and then it will whisk you off to the final level.  How totally messed up is that crap?

Now, before you race off to fight the bastard, spend at least one round in the PRACTICE level.  Why?  Doing so grants you access to all of your heroes again, even the dead ones – creepy, huh?– for use in the final level.  So killing off Iceman on the last level isn’t so bad after all.  And trust me, you are going to need them, Magneto’s lair is way tougher than the previous four levels!  Actually, you can do this after successful completion of any level, and that might be good for you as you practice, but don’t rely on it as a crutch, play the game!
Be careful!  Magneto’s lair is bigger than any of the previous levels and is a perilous maze.  Many of the passages lead to dead ends and the floors are riddled with traps.  The enemies move faster, spawn quicker and hit for more damage.  Once you get to Magento, he’ll act a lot like a Boss that Can Shoot, so use those strategies.  The only real difference is that the battle area is smaller, so watch your step.  Also, if he hits you with his magnetic beam, your controls will be temporarily reversed.  That is not good.  Your best bet is to try and trap him in the upper right corner of the screen and give him what for!

Hopefully, the above tips and strategies will help you get more out of this game than you did the first time you made a go at playing it.  Heck, if you are stupid like me, you might even like the game, but I’m not making any promises!