The Learning Curve: 5 Hours with Dr. Chaos

I've tried many times to get into this game, but for some reason I cannot seem to crack the learning curve on Dr. Chaos.  No surprise it's another Pony Canyon/FCI effort.  Those folks really know how to get in there and design a deep and complex game that provides a really rewarding experience.  They also seem to need the player to invest heavily to reap the rewards they are sowing.  I've not encountered too many FCI games that didn't require me to really dig in before I was able to get into the groove (I spent untold hours playing Ultima: Exodus and only beat it some 20 years later as an adult...).  So it didn't really seem strange that I was having a hard time making heads or tails of Dr. Chaos.

On the surface it looks like an adventure/platformer, but then you enter one of the doors and it becomes a first person exploration game.  Open yet another door and you are whisked away to another action platforming level.  Initially the adventure levels felt really clunky and death was certain.  To make matters worse, while you could continue infinitely, death meant that you lost all of your accumulated weapons and health and you had to start pretty much from scratch each time.  You only get to keep your main quest items.  This makes early exploration deaths tedious and annoying.

Despite all of that I felt there was a good game in there somewhere.  The premise was cool and the game play was unique enough to make me believe that if I could just devote the time, I might find a really great game just past the learning curve I was bumping into.  It felt like a good game I just couldn't crack, and there were so many other games to play...

So, now it's Dr. Chaos' time to shine.  It's finally going to get the 5 good hours it needs to prove what I suspect.  Let's break it down hour by hour...

Hour 1:

Off to a decent start due to several previous forays into the house.  I kind of know where some of the basic stuff is in the first few rooms, so I have no trouble stocking up on weapons and making it through the first warp zone to collect the first piece of the laser and the warp zone detector.  I've been that successful it the past, but not much further.  I'm able to explore the first few rooms with little issue.  The skeleton ape kicks me out into the hallway a couple of times, but as long as you have your gun, he's little threat.  The one thing that is extremely annoying in the hallway is the rats.  They can run under your knife very easily and then ding you for lots of HP as they scamper about.  Which brings up the main hurdle for me in getting into this game: clunky action-platforming.  Enemies are finicky to hit and often require you to be on the same platform level as they are to successfully hit.  So even if that bat swoops down well within the range of your knife, you still have to jump to be able to hit it.  You should be able to stab that skull as it falls, but no, you have to wait until it lands and is already draining your HP before you can take it out.  These little things take the "action" out of action-platforming, but all is not lost.  On my way to finding the second boss, I had a minor epiphany about this game.  This isn't a romping action-platformer.  It sure looks like one, because it has a lot of the right features, but no.  This game requires patience and nuance.  You can't go blazing through this like it's Ducktales or Demon Sword.  You have to take your time in the platforming areas.  You have to treat each battle, even against a simple hallway rat, as it's own thing.  If you take this on like you're playing Commando, you are doomed.  That isn't how this game works.  You have to take your time.  At least in hour 1, that seems to be the way to handle the combat.
Sadly, that epiphany doesn't make the platform jumping any less aggravating.  If we describe the combat system as "finicky," we can only describe the jumping as absurdly precision based.  There are jumps the warp zones I've been in that require you to be pixel perfect in your positioning in order to clear the gap and land on the next platform.  If you miss, it's a drop and a tedious trek back to the ladder or blocks that get you back up to try the jump again.  I've tried the "take your time" approach with the jumps and it does help, but not every jumping situation in this game gives you time to center your Chi.  Sometimes 3 falling skulls, 2 bats, and 2 winged skeletons are bearing down on you and if you don't make the jump, at least one of them will knock you down to the lower level so you can do it all over again.  I'm still struggling with the jumping.

These things, however, do not indicate that I'm not having fun.  So far I have managed to locate about 6 warp zones and I've learned that I am totally not ready for 5 of them.  I've explored about 80% of the visible house (apparently there is a basement I have not seen yet...).  I've found a place to acquire all of the weapon types.  And I've even defeated a second boss (a little caterpillar looking fellow) and acquired the helmet that lets you breathe underwater.  I feel like I've gotten a lot done for the first hour.
Apart from the tedious platforming and combat, the biggest downfall of the game play thus far is having to totally restock your weapon supply every time you die.  While it doesn't take overlong to do this, it does get repetitive.  And since you die a lot, you can expect to restock a lot.  And never, ever, go into a warp zone without a healthy stockpile of weapons.  Bosses aren't absurdly hard if you have the right weapon and the right strategy, but don't go in to a warp zone without a stockpile.
Overall, the exploration is going well and is a lot of fun.  Looking forward to Hour 2.

Here's the first code for the end of Hour 1, if you want to play along.

Hour 2:

More progress!  Part of the learning curve of this game is just figuring out how to navigate the house. There are lots of secret passages accessible only by punching the walls and those hits need to be pretty precise.  I kept missing one hole because I was only hitting the direct middle and far sides of the wall.  The hole I was looking for was somewhere in between.  Also, if you are looking to punch you way into the attic, you'll need to punch high on the wall to uncover the ladder.  So with that being said, I was able to access the attic and find more warp zones.  In those warp zones I was able to recover two extra health containers!!  This is exciting as I was beginning to worry about having a 99HP cap on my health.  The warp zones are getting tougher and the bosses likewise.  99HP was starting to be insufficient to the task, so finding 2 more health containers and tripling my HP limit was very exciting!!!  I was also able to liberate the high jump boots, which will greatly increase my access to previously inaccessible warp zones.  One very important thing I have learned in this hour is that fish are brutally annoying enemies.  As previously stated about the combat system in this game, when battling the fish, the persnickety nature is particularly obvious.  Shooting fish?  No problem, but you don't want to waste all of your precious ammo on low level common enemies, when you are sure to need it for the bigger baddies and likely the boss.  So that leaves the knife, an honorable weapon no doubt, and the bane of rats and bats alike, but agains the fish, well...  Let's just say that the fish are quick and can evade the knife in close quarters far better than the rat.  You really need to strike at the fish before it comes into range and let it run into the blade.  If you wait and try to strike when the fish is close enough, it's already too close and you are hit.  What's worse, because you are in the water, you float and likely bump into another fish, or back into the same fish, over and over.  So stock up on bullets and prepare to blast your way through, or brush up on your knife skills.  Fish are the aggravation catch of the day!
I'm strongly considering making a map.  Even though the house isn't huge, there are 11 warp zones to find and once found it would be nice to be able to get back to them with ease.  Luckily for me I happen to own a map of the house already.  For those of you who didn't grow up with Nintendo Power kind of money, you may recall a little, barely licensed, monthly strategy guide called the Player's Strategy Guide to Nintendo Games.  This publication was much like something your shady Uncle Terry might have published out of his garage from games he had access to from his job at the Video Vender.  But, for those of us with discount childhoods, these mags were as good as gold.  Why am I going on about this?  Because in a issue of the Player's Guide I owned as a kid, they have a map of the Dr. Chaos house!  Their tips and secrets are of the most superficial and miserable kind (thanks of the "in depth" map of the first warp zone, which is the easiest and is just a straight line), but the map itself is just fine for what I need.  So I'll likely be working on that going forward, just to keep from going in circles as I get closer to the end.

"No way" door?  That's just a door you can't go through.  Not a huge help.

Finally a PRO TIP that it took me two hours to discover:  Pressing up while in a room will cause you to turn around.  Up to this point, I've been turning circles by pressing right or left and cycling through the four cardinal directions, but thanks to this fabulous discovery, I can now turn around and leave a room the way I came in just by pressing up.  Seems minor, but I promise it's a big help!
So two hours down, 5 warp zones cleared and I'm enjoying this game more and more!

Hour 3:

I really hope I am able to beat this game within the 5 hours I have devoted to it.  If not, I will most likely finish it regardless based on the amount of fun I am having now that I am passed the learning curve for getting into it.
More progress this hour!  I've found ways to access every part of the house, I think.  I can get to all rooms in the attic and basement now and have found 3 more warp zones.  I managed to beat a buzzy beetle looking boss to gain the vest (which cuts down dramatically on HP loss) and I got my butt handed to me by a flaming lion boss and a boss that is just a skull surrounded by a ball of bones.  This game is not lacking in the creative boss design category.  I am getting better at hallway combat, but the winged bone monsters in the warp zones are plaguing me something terrible.  Their movements are just too erratic and they always seem to dodge my shots.  House exploration, one of the initial hurdles in the learning curve, is now a snap.  Room layouts and access are all totally logical and that makes it easy to figure out how to access areas like the basement and the attic.  If an attic room is directly above a room on the second floor, chances are very good that punching the north wall in that room will reveal a ladder.  Likewise, if you want to try to access a room next to the one your are in, punched on a western or eastern wall generally grants passage.  The only big drawback remains the need to reload your weapon and health supply upon death, but that is only a minor annoyance at this point.  I did pick up a green health vial in the boss room with the bone boss, but I am not sure what it does.   I've got 6 pieces of the super weapon and have explored the entire house.  I think that puts me roughly half way to the end.  We'll find out more next hour!

Super Cool Boss Gallery! 

Hour 4:

The success continues!  I managed to take out a few more bosses this time around including the bone boss. The green vial (of which I picked up another in a different boss room) restores all health and is probably very helpful in some of these tougher boss battles.  It is likely a mistake that I rush into the room and grab it right away, but you live, you learn.  My map is pretty complete at this point and I find that apart from pinpointing the location of the warp zones, I don't need it too much.  It is helpful in remembering which rooms grant access to the attic or basement, but apart from that, house navigation has become very easy.  Basement or attic access is always found by punching on the North screen.  Access to other rooms is always on an East or West screen as mentioned in Hour 3.  South screens are pretty much just how you get back to the hallway.  I took out a trilobite boss and got another health vial brining me up to what I assume is the maximum 4 health containers.  And I discovered a new, and deadly boss that looks a lot like the White Dragons from Castlevania.  However with this menace, if you miss the head and hit the body, he breaks apart and spawns a second head, and now you have two white dragons flying around.  Not fun.  This boss will take some strategy.  I am also convinced the flaming lion head boss is the final boss.  The only weapon that hurts him is the knife and once you stab him with it he begins shooting fireballs out of his mouth effectively preventing you from stabbing him again.  Taking this guy out must be the use of the super weapon, but I guess we will see.  As it stands, I only have one piece of the weapon yet to acquire and I assume the White Dragon boss has it.  So next hour,  I'll have to stock up, strategize and take him down, then see if my hunch is right about that flaming lion...

Hour 5:

Turns out the White Dragon boss isn't so tough if you take your time and try not to hit his body segments.  I managed to split him into 4 parts (instead of 6 or 8 as previously) and just concentrate on one head at a time, and he was down in no time!  Laser cannon assembled!  That only leaves the Fire-breathing Lion.  The final showdown took three tries.  The first to confirm my suspicions.  Turns out when you stab him in the face and activate him, your weapon automatically becomes the Laser Cannon and you just battle it out from there.  It took a second try to work out the pattern of his fireball barrage, and on the third try he was defeated!  Dr. Ginn Chaos was restored and the warp zone peril was ended!

Final Appraisal:
Dr. Chaos is a really great game.  I am sorely disappointed that I didn't take the time to overcome the learning curve years ago, as it is clear I have been missing out on one of the NES's hidden gems.  With diverse gameplay and a moderate difficulty level, this game really hits the sweet spot between challenge and accessibility.  It is obvious the problem all along was me.

Learning Curve:
Based on my experience above maybe 1.5 hours.  It takes a little while to get used to the side-scrolling adventure action and house navigation, but once you understand a few things (pay attention to my pro tips and discoveries above) you should be exploring and having a good time in short order.  Only the recollection of items after your death proves to be annoying, but only minimally so.

Will I Finish It?
I did!  And there is a good chance I'll play it through again in the future.  It's a lot of fun and when you know what you're doing it probably only takes an hour or two to beat.

So there you have it!  The Learning Curve has proven successful in only it's second time out!  Dr. Chaos is a great game and I strongly recommend it!  Don't let the short learning curve keep you from having a great time exploring this underrated NES game!  What to play next...

A Closer Look at the Karate Kid for the NES

 It has been far too long since I have sat down and written a good ol' Closer Look on a NES game.  Long time masochists will recall that is how this whole thing got started.  However, a few weeks ago I broke down and bought the Karate Kid for the NES.  With LJN's reputation for crap games (some of it earned and some of it unjust, but that is a tale for another time) and my fear of ruining a childhood admiration for the Pat Morita classic film, I have passed over this game many, many times in the past.  However, like the daft fool I am, I have the delusion that I can one day own all of the NES games made (for North America anyway...), so it is inevitable that this was going to be in my collection at some point anyway, so much like Ezal, I saw an open window...

To be honest, I expected the six dollars I chucked down for Karate Kid to have gone the way of the six dollars I spent on Total Recall, Wayne's World, and so many other movie-based games in the past.  But damn it, I just keep playing it!  And it's not like the game is exceedingly long or difficult, but I keep playing it!  I beat it like last week and yet I keep playing it.  I checked, it was released by LJN.  So what is going on?  How is this possible?  This, my friends is why the Karate Kid for the NES is getting a Closer Look (and now that I think about it, Back to the Future, the first game to get a Closer Look is also an LJN title, I think someone is spiking my Shasta...).

So what is is about this game that makes me keep playing it?  Is it the adaptation of the story?  Not even close.  And by "not even close" I mean the adaptation is not even close.  One might go so far as to say that this game has been entirely mis-titled, and not in that "tossing bowling balls and Guidos" kind of way that Back to the Future is mis-titled, but in that "hey, this game is actually the sequel" kind of way.  You know the type.  I'm not kidding.  The "plot" for the NES Karate Kid game is actually the plot of the film, the Karate Kid Part II!!  What the what?  Exactly.  And here's the kicker, it is actually very, very faithful to that plot.
You start the game at the pivotal tournament from the climax of the first film.  From there you travel to Okinawa where you do battle with Sato's thugs outside the Miyagi dojo.  Then the typhoon hits and you must battle your way through the storm to save the child atop the bell post (shocking level of detail!).  Finally, you must make your way to the festival where your new girlfriend is being menaced by Chozen.  Defeat Chozen and keep Kumiko from killing herself (more on this in a minute), and Miyagi will honor you with great praise (perhaps too great?).  See, pretty much just like the second film.

So why is this game, for all intents and purposes the Karate Kid Part II, in a Karate Kid case?  I have no idea.  Logic says maybe they felt odd about releasing a "sequel game" for something that had no foundational title, but that didn't stop Konami for hitting us with Goonies II.  Maybe there was a Japanese release of a game based on the original film and this was the sequel game, but we only get the sequel game because back then America only got a portion of the kick ass games from Japan?  Honestly, I have no idea, and the research that could confirm that last one really stretches outside the scope of this article, so I am happy to chock this one up to a mystery. Either way, the curious mismatch of title and game content is not the reason I keep playing this game.  It is however a really nice bit of icing on an otherwise unexpectedly moist and delicious cake.

Perhaps what makes this game so much fun is its sheer simplicity.  As previously stated the game isn't terribly long.  Four total levels and only three of those are actual platforming levels.  The first part of the game is the tournament where you face off against four opponents in single elimination bouts.  Four fights, that's it, and to top it off they are easy, really really easy.  The remaining levels are of moderate length, but all in all the game only takes about 20 minutes to complete.  Yet I keep playing it, and here's the biggest shocker, particularly for you younger audience members for whom the next statement may have little meaning at all:  I'm playing for score!  Yeah, that's right.  If you have ever asked yourself who the loser is who has been beating Karate Kid for the NES at least once a day for score, the answer is this guy:

Me

Now the question to ask is why?  Why would anyone do such a thing?  I own a shameful amount of NES games, and this is how I spend my time?  Something must be wrong with me or very right with the Karate Kid.  The answer might be a little of column A and a little of column B (see picture above).
My personal idiosyncrasies aside, there are some very right things about the Karate Kid.  It's not without its faults: comparatively short levels, unfair stuck points where the enemies can drain your health to zero in seconds, fairly uninspired level design, but it manages to overcome those things with an almost ridiculously simple formula of uncomplicated game play, short play time, charming theming, and just enough challenge to keep things interesting. Not surprisingly, this is the exact same formula that makes Jackie Chan's Action Kung-Fu a sleeper hit of the Konami library (the only real difference in the games is the theming and game length, JCAKU takes almost an hour to beat).
(Dude, I go on FOREVER about this game, but keep reading, I promise it is worth it...)

A Closer Look at Haunted House, Then and Now...

At first I was content to let the above cartoon speak for itself, which I think it does.  But then I realized that it was too easy and that you would probably want to know at least a little bit about how the new Haunted House stacks up against its nigh unto thirty year ancestor.  So, I’ll regale you briefly with tales of yore and then give you my opinion.

Haunted House (1981) was the single spookiest game ever.  Throughout the life of the Atari 2600 and well into the era of Nintendo, no game had the jarring ability to startle the beejezus out of me the way Haunted House did.  I mean, the screen was pitch black, and even when you lit a match you could only see what was close by.  Then, while you are diligently exploring the mansion, CRASH! out of nowhere a bat or spider would suddenly appear with a clap of thunder and flash of lightning.  Furthermore, they were on an unstoppable path toward you with only your destruction in mind.  And god forbid that instead of a spider or bat you got Old Man’s Grave’s horrible spirit.  To make matters worse, the appearance of a foe also meant that your light went out and you were totally isolated.  You damn well better hope you know where you are in the mansion because the last thing you want is to run face first into a locked door.  Tensions were always high when playing Haunted House.

Even though the graphics were blocky and simple, even though the house was only four stories high with a regimented floor plan, even though you could beat it in minutes, Haunted House managed to capture something ethereal that later games would approach, but never quite grasp.  The game has the ability to make you nervous while playing it.  It cultivates a real sense of dread every time you open a door or navigate a staircase.  A baddie could be anywhere and worse yet the Ghost could travel right through locked doors meaning that he could menace you literally any second of the game.  And every time that lightning crashed and the screen flashed, your heart jumped.  Where was the monster that set it off?  Were they close?  Where exactly are you and where is the closest exit?  Are you cornered?  RUN!

Sometimes simple is better.  And with those simple, blocky graphics and minimal sound effects, the people at Atari captured lightning in a bottle.  Later horror/thriller games like Resident Evil would capitalize upon the power of the startle effect, having the undead burst out at you through windows and the like, but for all of their graphic gore and realistic sounds, they still only rate second-best in my book.  Which is why I was very nervous when I read last month that Atari was planning on releasing an updated version of the classic that set the bar so high so long ago.

We’ve been down this road before.  Many classic games from the Atari era have seen modern iterations with very mixed results.  Asteroids, Centipede, Pac-man, Space Invaders, all of the greats have “grown-up” into contemporary versions of their perfect, simple selves.  Some of these updates have been fun, and some disastrous, but all in all they really don’t stand much of a chance against their original counterparts.  So a 2010 Haunted House had me very, very skeptical.  But, initial reviews were good and the screenshots and explanations all pointed to the opportunity for something really fun.  Hell, even the price tag, $19.99 was right.  So I gave it a go.


Much to my delight, the game is actually very good.  The fundamental premise is exactly the same as the original game: you must search the mansion and find the pieces of the urn.  The end result is different, you don’t have to flee the house with the urn, instead you have to defeat a ghoulish foe.  But the spirit, if you will excuse the obvious and painful pun, is still there.  Haunted House (2010) is literally a re-imagining of Haunted House (1981) with modern sensibilities.  The main differences are in the execution of the concept.  First, the game isn’t tough as nails like its ancestor could be.  The main element of difficulty that is missing is the darkness.  HH2010 is dark, but it isn’t pitch-black like HH1981.  You will need light sources to navigate the mansion successfully, but you can still see most everything in the house at all times.  The light sources only really increase your visibility and help you find items, levers and treasures.  True, the mansion gets darker as you progress, but it never goes completely dark like the original.  Also, unlike the original, when you get scared by a monster, your game isn’t over, you just start back at the last fireplace you lit.  This means you’ll never encounter the dreaded GAME OVER and have to embark upon your mission anew, but at the same time where the original was at best 10 minutes of game play in length, HH2010 is more like 3 hours.  I would be pretty pissed if I got 2:15 into the game and had to start over from scratch. (Sidebar: I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing…)

The game still features the classic monsters to avoid, plus several new ones like gargoyles.  It also features a variety of light sources for you to employ, some of which actually give you offensive capabilities you will need if you are to survive your stay.  A big difference between the newer version and the original is the addition of boss fights.  The house is divided into four sections and at the culmination of each section you will have to combat a different mega-monster.  These boss fights are perhaps the toughest part of the game as they require you to defeat the mega-monster while avoiding being scared to death.  It is an endurance run for sure.

What the game lacks in difficulty it more than makes up for in atmosphere.  Despite the update, the game maintains the creepy feel of its predecessor and even builds upon it some areas.  The main area of note is the sound.  During your time in the mansion you will be beset with a plethora of moans, wails, thumps, rattlings, baby’s cries, and other very, very creepy sounds.  None of these sounds ever manifest in anything material in the game, which only adds to their effect.  I am not kidding when I tell you that playing this game in the dark, late at night, will make you question any errant sounds that might occur in your own home.  That, my friends, is successful theming!

Another nice addition is the inclusion of treasures and journal entries that you can discover as you explore the mansion.  The journal entries will reveal the dark history of the Graves’ family and their spooky home.  The treasures are snarky references to iconic horror film characters from days gone by.  And after you find a few, and read their descriptions, you’ll be making additional trips into the mansion to find the rest.

The game play remains true, if somewhat evolved.  Like in the original, you’ll have to work your way through the mansion which is a maze of locked doors and stairways.  And like the original, you will find keys that help you gain access to areas previously impassible.  But in the modern interpretation, you’ll also need to seek out levers and various colored lanterns to gain admittance to certain areas of the house.  As stated before, the house is divided into four “floors” each subdivided into four areas and each area is completely self-contained, so you’ll never get stuck because you left a key or lantern behind in another area.  As you progress through the mansion, the areas become larger and more complex and you’ll to do more in order to move on to the next area.  And to make things even more fun, there is a great two-player version where you and a friend can work together to solve the riddle of Graves’ Mansion.  This makes some of the later levels a lot easier without taking away from the overall challenge.

FINAL LOOK

I’m honestly rather shocked and impressed at how well Haunted House (2010) compares to the original Haunted House.  Everything from the original is there in spirit if not in form.  The game does not try to reinvent the wheel, nor does it try to improve upon what already works and works well.  Instead Haunted House (2010) feels like an evolved descendant of Haunted House (1981).  Many elements of the modern game are fun homages to the original game: when your light goes out, all you can see are your eyes!  Nothing will ever capture the magic the way that the original Haunted House did, but this new game certainly knows what made the 1981 game so incredible. You can do a whole hell of a lot worse for $19.99, heck for $49.99, and I think that Haunted House (2010) is perfect for fans of the original as well as those exploring Graves’ Mansion for the very first time.  Accusations that the game is “kiddie” are completely unfounded and smack of basement dwelling rejection of anything that isn’t Grand Theft Auto.  This is a great game for anyone and everyone and comes highly recommended from your ol’ pal Stan.  I anticipate playing Haunted House (2010) many more times in the future, particularly around this time of year!

A Closer Look at Muscle March for WiiWare

A Closer Look at Muscle March for WiiWare

Some video games are all about strategy, be they puzzle games, turn based battle games, or what have you.  Some video games are about precision asking you to make the exact right moves at the exact right time or else.  Then there are games that all about action, full-on in your face, guns blazing, fire pits roaring action.  And then there are games about muscles.  You heard me.  Muscles.

Yeah, you heard me.  Wait until you see this...

So my friend Chris comes over to the house one night last month and amidst our various goings on about how hard it is to find Atari 2600 games in the wild anymore and which NES games are worth $5, the boy says to me “Have you seen that Muscle game for the WiiWare yet?”  Obviously I had not.  So we pull up the trailer for said game on the interweb and oh my dear lord.  One cannot describe what bombards the senses next, so I’ll not try.  Instead, I’ll allow you to judge for yourself.  Here, take a watch:




What the hell was that?  That my friends is the greatest game for the WiiWare yet.  Yes, delete Mega Man 10 and that new Blaster Master game and make room for Muscle March.  The game is insane.  Pure Japanese insanity in all of its glory.  If you thought Katamari Damacy was a head trip you ain’t seen nothing yet. Imagine Katamari, but with nothing held back.  Nothing.  I think that trailer is proof enough.

The premise, if you dare say the game has one, is centered around a group of extremely zealous body builders who are incensed because people keep stealing their protein powder.  The protein nabbing invariably results in a madcap chase wherein the body builders pursue the perpetrator through cities, jungle villages, space stations and even the heavens themselves!  The protein thief will stop at nothing to escape and this means crashing through anything standing in their way, walls, doors, subway cars, forests, asteroids, you name it.  If the body builders are to nab the protein bandit, they must follow suit, literally.  Each time the perp smashes through something they do so in a very specific pose.  The body builders must mimic this pose or be knocked out of the chase.  That’s it.  Run fast enough and pose correctly and you’ll eventually have an opportunity to tackle the vandal and retrieve your precious protein…or will you….

Honestly, the game is ridiculously simple.  Too simple to be as damn challenging as it is.  When you break it down, the game is essentially Simon Says with poses instead of colors.  There are only four poses to play with and all you have to do is copy the fleeing criminal’s pose as it goes through the wall.  It is just that easy, and yet, it’s not.

The game is dizzying.  From the stereotypical J-Pop music to the absurd environments the game does not allow you to concentrate for a single second.  The backgrounds are just plain crazy.  Nevermind the fact that your chase will have you defying gravity, running through all kinds of buildings, subway cars, jungles, mines, space ships, and so on, as you bust through these surroundings there are innumerable distractions screaming for your attention all over the place.  Most of these distractions are in the inexplicable form of cardboard cut-outs of people and animals that are hopping and gyrating about as if they were on popsicle sticks and being puppeteered by hyperglycemic eight-year olds.  Just don’t pay them any attention. In the immortal words of Happy Gilmore when the “earthquake” rocks the miniature golf course, “how the hell am I supposed to do that?”  It will take a strong mind, but it can be done.

And it isn’t just the backgrounds that will have your mind reeling.  The action gets to be intense.  The chase starts out brisk, but manageable.  As you get closer and closer to the protein bandit, the speed of the chase ramps considerably.  Considerably.  The farther you get in the game, the faster you are going to have to react and match poses or be eliminated.  There are times when instinct and luck will benefit you more than reflexes.  That said, the game gets tough, fast.  And if you get too good at the main game, you can always try your luck at the endless chase game variation where you just run as fast and as long as you can.  Of course, that also makes very good practice for the main game.

That is all there really is to it, but let’s call a spade a spade, you’re not going to buy this game (for a paltry 500 Wii Points) for its complexities and depth.  If you’re looking for Final Fantasy XIII, it ain’t here. No, you’re going to buy Muscle March for the head trip, plain and simple.  This is a zany game all about the laughs and absurdity and the “what the frok was that” factor.  The game play is nothing special, but the game is. Muscle March is funny AND fun.

We’ve been playing the game for some time now and I cannot seem to rescue the protein from the Muscle Mech character to save my life.  And yet I keep trying.  Look, I’m not a big downloadable content guy, I think you know that.  I enjoy the Mega Man games and the Virtual Console has finally allowed me to play Castlevania: Rondo of Blood, but all in all, I’m not over the moon about downloadable games the way most people are.  I would not tell you to make Muscle March your next video game purchase if I wasn’t absolutely certain that it would blow your mind.  I’ll not waste your time with more of my nonsense this month, just go play Muscle March and try to reconcile its madness with your rational, sequential brain.

I’ll see you back here next month when I’ll tell you how we got where we are today and why we are worse for it…

A Closer Look at the Evolution of the Instruction Manual

A Closer Look at the Evolution of the Instruction Manual

Read the Damn Instruction Manual!  Used to be, you never had to utter these words.  Once upon a time, the instruction manual that came with your brand new video game purchase was at least %50 of the enjoyment of the game, more if you bought games in the Swordquest series…  The instruction manual was not only your guide to how to insert your game cartridge into the cartridge slot on the gaming console you have been the owner of for several months as if you just found the thing on the street this morning and thought “what the heck, let’s take this in the house and see what happens.”  The instruction manual opened the door to the world of the game (and heck, video games in general) and helped create a mystique about what adventures awaited you inside that little plastic box.  It also gave you something to look at while your obnoxious cousin dominated the game even though he said he’d never played it before.  The instruction manual used to be an integral part of the gaming experience.  Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?

Often these days, the instruction manual is that piece of colorful filler paper tucked behind that warranty card, that in-house game catalog, and those three postcard-size ads, two for games you already own.  Besides, who needs to dig through all of that nonsense anyway?  Nowadays the manual is as superfluous as the comparative simile.  Thanks to the advent of the in-game tutorial, chances are pretty good it has been a while since you’ve seen an instruction manual.  Most games feature an introductory level that in some way introduces you to the basics of the game play, either overtly or in the more well-crafted games, subtly.   And now Ubisoft is looking to put the final nail in the Instruction Manual’s coffin as they recently announced that they plan to stop producing manuals altogether! Because technology has allowed us to “jump right in” to our newest purchase, we no longer spend much time with any of the peripherals that come with the game, if they even come at all.
 
This fact has become more pertinent to me most recently when playing the X-men game for the NES for last month’s Closer Look.  I was struggling with the game, as you might imagine or can relate to, and was reaching a frustration point, when I realized, “hey, this game has a manual, maybe there is something in there that will help me out.”  It was then I realized that the manual was not obvious to me at the start.  After fetching the manual for X-men, I started thinking about the good ol’ days when the manual was an intrinsic part of my video game experience.  Thus, this time around, I thought we’d all take a good hard look at the evolution of the video game manual, why it came to be and where it might be going.

For me it all started with the Atari 2600 and something I’m going to call the golden age of video games and their manuals.  The early video game manual was as much a part of the video game experience as the game itself.  Where else are you going to learn about the world of Mazeon circa Astro Date 3200, its deadly inhabitants the Automazeons and their nefarious commander, the aptly named Evil Otto?  How else will you learn about Old Man Graves and his strange connection to a shattered urn?  Certainly not by popping Berzerk or Haunted House into your VCS.  Nope, back in olden times, video games were all action.  If you were looking for story, you would only find it in the instruction manual.  And what a story you might find!  The tales found in instruction manuals from the golden age are rich and well written and smartly craft the backdrop for the action happening on your TV screen.  Take for instance this brief sample of text from the aforementioned Haunted House manual:

“To this day, no one has had the courage to go into the mansion to search for the pieces of the urn.  It is common knowledge that the ghost of old man Graves still haunts the mansion. Some of the neighbors claim to have seen lights flickering in the windows.  Some say that they have heard eerie sounds, doors slamming, and heavy footsteps.  Some even claim to have seen shadows running through the mansion.”
Not too shabby for a video game manual, huh?  And that’s just a sample of the whole story! 
Oh, the hours I spent reading and rereading those manuals, soaking up all of the words and the excellent art!  That’s right, video game manuals used to feature more than text and screenshots!  The illustrations from the Atari manuals, while a bit dated, are still masterpieces of video game art!

And this creative effort is not contained solely within the pages of the manual itself.  Some games from this era also featured peripherals in addition to the instruction manual to help heighten the experience.  Games like Yar’s Revenge and those in the Swordquest series were also accompanied by full color comic books chronicling the adventures that were being lived out in the games.  Much like the manuals, these comics were not quick and dirty afterthoughts, they were well-crafted pieces designed to be enjoyed and savored as much as the games.  Heck, some games ended up not being half as good as their manuals! (looking back at you Swordquest!)

As time rolled on and the level of complexity in games increased, the instruction manual took on an all-new, all-important role:  strategy guide.  Currently the term “strategy guide” means a separate peripheral that is priced at about half the cost of the game itself and, depending on the publisher, contains anywhere from %50-%100 of the vital information needed to get the full experience from the game.  This wasn’t always the case.  Long ago in the age of the Nintendo Entertainment Center, “strategy guide” meant the last 5-8 pages of the instruction manual that provided either a walkthrough of the game’s first level, or maps, or just general strategies for playing and succeeding at the game.  The instruction manual for The Legend of Zelda (LoZ) is a perfect example of this phenomenon. Not only did the back of the manual provide a step-by-step guide to completing the first labyrinth, but the game came packed in with a second strategy guide/map to help you get even further in the game.  All of that at NO EXTRA CHARGE.  Get out.  No, I’m serious.

The good people at Nintendo were no idiots.  They realized that their system was ushering in a new era of games with game play that far surpassed what most previous systems could attempt.  Thus, adapting the instruction manual to be both instructional and insightful was the next logical step in the evolution of the booklet.  So in addition to containing instructions on basic game play and expositional story, the manual now served as your guide to discovering everything a game had to offer.  Even games that didn’t need full strategy guides featured hint sections or advanced strategy sections.  These were extensions of pre-existing “helpful hints” sections from the previous era of instruction manuals.

 






From that point, video game manuals sort of peaked a bit.  The era of the SEGA Gensis/Saturn and the Super Nintendo didn’t really see too much innovation in the evolution of the manual.  Game complexity increased a bit and manuals got thicker to accommodate a greater density of instructions.  Some manuals were simplified as in the case of Castlevania: Bloodlines for the Genesis, while others nearly tripled in size to fully explain the intricacies of the game play, see Jet Grind Radio.  But all in all the manual itself was coasting along just fine through the Silver Age of video gaming.

Titles like the epic Final Fantasy VII featured instruction manuals that were a synthesis of the old and the new.  The FFVII manual featured a whopping 65 pages that ran the gamut from basic controls to menu screen organization and even a mini-walkthrough of the first section of the game.  Like video gaming, the instruction manual was at its height.

As the modern era of gaming was being ushered in, developers didn’t seem to really know what to do with the instruction manual any more.  Some developers just stuck with the format, providing guidance on how to play the game and explaining what the different game modes were all about.  (see Super Monkey Ball)  The advent of the strategy guide at the middle and end of the Silver Age, pretty much meant the demise of those sections of the manual.  Why would a developer put such information in the back of a free booklet when they could turn around and sell you another booklet for more money?  Likewise, the capability of coding in-game tutorials into the games themselves meant that there was less need for reliance upon the printed manual to fill that role.  The story was also being told through the game itself now, so paragraphs or pages of exposition were no longer a necessary feature either. Thus, game developers started getting a little more creative with their manual design.

Take the manual for Shadow of the Colossus, an incredible game.  Using screenshots from the game and lots of moody pencil sketches, they manage to take two pages of basic control instruction and turn it into 31 pages of manual.  Very cool, but very unnecessary.  Particularly since the game features what amounts to an in-game tutorial anyway.  To be honest, I think I looked over the manual all of once, maybe twice and that was to see if it made any mention of collecting lizard tails or eating fruit to increase your stamina and power.  There is none, despite the fact that these are vital aspects of game play.  I guess I should have bought the strategy guide…  So with no idea of what to do with the seemingly obligatory manual, the people at Sony decided to get a little artsy.  Mixed results.

Looks great, but a whole page for Running?

Now with the modern era in full swing, the instruction manual is even more of a lost soul.  Some games have sparse manuals (Cooking Mama Cook Off) that pretty much pay lip service to the elementary purpose of the document, while others keep the tradition alive by still presenting the manual in its full glory (Okami).  That said, chances are pretty good you haven’t opened an instruction manual for a modern game, or maybe any game, in a long, long time.  And if the people at Ubisoft have anything to say about it, you may never again!

 







In a move Ubisoft is calling “eco-friendly,” which I think we all know is bullshit, the game developer is stopping altogether the production of printed manuals to be inserted into the game packaging.  Instead, Ubisoft games will feature in-game digital manuals that will serve the same function.  First of all, in no way shape or form do I buy the notion that Ubisoft’s cessation of printed manuals has anything to do with their concern for the environment.  This is an economic move, pure and simple, and I think they insult the intelligence of everyone by saying otherwise.  I mean seriously.  I will be interested to see if Ubisoft also does away with those paper advertisement inserts as well…
But secondly, and more importantly, are we now seeing the next step in the evolution of the instruction manual?  I think we could very well be.  If you follow the progression it only makes sense for this to be where the manual’s evolution leads.  Initially, the limitations of video game technology demanded that a separate instruction sheet be sold with games so that people would know what to do with this new fangled “video game tape” they just purchased.  As video games became entrenched in the culture and increased in complexity, the manual evolved to go beyond basic instruction and became a resource for getting the most out of a game and understanding its depths to the fullest.  After a strong lifetime in the Silver Age, the manual’s evolution stagnated.  Technology and the growing video game economic market was leaving it behind with the development of strategy guides and in-game tutorials.  Thus the instruction manual of the modern age had become irrelevant filler paper that took up good space where ads could go.  As we develop newer and better video game technology that can play Blu-Ray movies (for some reason) and browse the internet (as if I don’t have a computer that does that…), the need for a paper instruction manual does seem to evaporate away.

So I guess we are looking at the next generation of instruction manuals: the digital age.  It may make sense and it may be the natural progression of things, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to miss my outdated paper instruction booklets.  It makes me sound old, but I wonder if the kids of this and coming generations will ever really appreciate the glory that was to be found between those magic pages.  Printed instruction manuals may be transitioning into the annals of video game history, but they are an integral part of its origin and I think there is certainly something about them that old schoolers like myself will also always remember fondly.
So if you have the means and the opportunity, for the love of all that is good in the universe, one last time maybe, READ THE DAMN MANUAL!!! While you can….


I’ll see you back here next month when I jump back into the games and show you what I just picked up off the WiiWare…